"The Beauty in Chaos"

My dad and I love to camp, and when I say camp, I mean sleeping in a tent and cooking over a fire. Because of this, my four-year old nephew has been begging us to take him camping. Two days ago, my family embarked on an adventure that will forever be remembered in Austin family history. What started out as a simple, three-person camp out turned into an expedition with a total of six people in attendance, including: two campers, my nephew's mother and grandmother who hate to camp, an excited four-year old, and an eighteen-month old. Suffice it to say that even though my dad and I had properly planned our camping trip, there was a fair amount of chaos.

There was the expected amount of laughing, playing, and overall fun, but there was also the unexpected. Since we had six people, we needed two tents. My parents slept in one tent, while my sister, two nephews, and I took the larger tent. The tent was large enough that we could put in two queen-size air mattresses. My sister and oldest nephew took one air mattress while my youngest nephew and I took the other. At least, that's how we started out. Since the toddler is accustomed to sleeping in a crib, he thought sleeping on an air mattress was a big bounce house created just for him to jump on like a trampoline. This then wired his brother who was already so excited he could barely contain his enthusiasm. Eventually, I got my oldest nephew to go to sleep while my sister got her youngest son to fall asleep by the campfire. But even this created a dilemma, because trying to get a sleeping toddler into a low tent was like trying to pass a football without fumbling it. Needless to say, my sister and I got little to no sleep. Even after the boys managed to go to sleep, they both thought my sister and I made better pillows than the ones they had. We were pillows, beds, and blankets all rolled into one. Yet as chaotic as that night was, it is also one of the main reasons I'll never be able to forget this particular camping trip. For it was in the chaos, wonderful memories were made.

As a general rule, I've never liked chaos. I prefer plans and organization, and chaos is anything but planned and organized. This is one of the reasons why I don't like having a chronic illness. A disease always disrupts a person's well thought-out plans. It's hard to know what to expect in a day, because one has no idea how he or she will feel. Will today be a day when the disease lies dormant and does little damage, or will it be a day when plans must be cast aside in order deal with pain and fatigue?

For a long time, I would become exasperated by the chaos my disease would create. I constantly lived in frustration, until one day I unexpectedly experienced something wonderful that happened because of my disease. Since that day, I have asked God to bring beauty out my chaotic life, and He continually answers this prayer. I can now honestly say that all the great things happening my life have occurred because I have lupus and Crohns.

As we head into the weekend, many of us have made plans. Yet for many living with a chronic illness, those plans will have to be changed or cancelled because our bodies may not be able to keep up with those plans. But even if this weekend goes according to plans, there will come a day when chaos will reign and our bodies will demand we take a break from life.

How will you respond? Will you let frustration and anger control your attitude, or will you choose to see the beauty in the chaos? I encourage you to ask God to help you see the beauty. There's no telling what unexpected surprise awaits, but anytime we ask God to help us see Him, He will answer every time.

"He (God) heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them. Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite. The Lord supports the afflicted..." ~ Psalm 147:3-6

(c) June 7, 2012