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The Death of a Dream

9/26/2013

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

We live in the world of magic, imagination, and wonder. As children, we are taught to dream. As Walt Disney said, “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue it.” But what happens when we dream something and it doesn’t happen? What do we do when we experience the death of a dream?

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m a big believer in dreaming large and then seeking to make that dream a reality. Yet sometimes, no matter how hard we try, some things aren’t meant to be. We see this all the time on reality television shows like American Idol. A person just knows she’s going to become the next superstar because it’s been her dream all her life. There’s just one problem. She can’t sing! She sounds like a cat screeching in a room filled with rocking chairs. Although this is an extreme example, you understand my point. Sometimes, our dreams aren’t meant to be for the simple reason that they are our dreams and not God’s.

This doesn’t mean God is a cosmic cop waiting to destroy your dreams. He’s not seeking revenge over the fact you didn’t consult with Him about the plan for your life, and this doesn’t mean having a dream is bad. Yet as is often the case, people have the tendency to make plans for their lives without talking with God and seeing if their plans match His plans.

I’m one of those dreamers and planners who didn’t leave room in her life for an alternate plan. My dream was to be a medical missionary. As noble as that is, it wasn’t God’s plan for my life. I knew I had the dream to help and encourage sick people, and I assumed the best way to do this was to be a nurse on the mission field. Being the planner that I am, I quickly got to work when I graduated from high school to make my dream a reality. I enrolled in nursing school and was two semesters away from graduating with top honors. And then it happened. My body decided to crash, and along with that came the death of my dream. I was too sick to finish nursing school. Not only that, I learned no mission board would send me to the mission field because I was too sick. Every hope, dream, and plan I had for my life changed.

I picked up the pieces as best I could, but I knew in my heart I wasn’t doing what I was meant to do. Something was missing. So I began to pray like I never had before, but this time, I prayed for something new. I didn’t ask God to give me a new dream or make my old dream become a reality. Instead, I prayed for redemption.   

I had heard about redemption all of my life. In church I was taught redemption is why Jesus died on the cross – to forgive and redeem us from our sins. Yet I couldn’t help but wonder why I couldn’t have redemption in all areas of my life. If Christ can redeem people from their worst sins, then why couldn’t He redeem all the pain and suffering I had endured?

Merriam-Webster defines redemption as “the act of compensating for a defect.” Although I don’t think people living with a chronic illness are defective, I do believe those of us with a chronic illness understand better than most what it’s like to have a life filled with imperfections. We are far from perfect, and we’re often reminded by doctors that our bodies are inadequate. Yet God doesn’t see all of that when He looks at us. He sees His beauty in us. He can take the biggest defeat and turn it in to something more amazing than we can ever imagine. All the pain we’ve endured, He can redeem. God can take the worst day of our lives, and turn it into the best thing that has ever happened to us. Sometimes, His redemption isn’t immediate. More times than not, it’s a gradual process. My redemption began with the birth of Broken but Priceless Ministries. There have been many small redemptions along the way, as well as some big, but God’s biggest redemption for my suffering is about to happen. 

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On October 2, 2008, I was given Friday off work, and I had planned a road trip with a friend. I was supposed to pick my friend up and drive to Asheville, NC where we had reservations, but the trip never happened. My health had been steadily declining, and that day, I had to cancel my plans because I was too sick to drive. After a weekend in bed, I managed to make it to the doctor on Monday morning and learned my liver was horribly inflamed. I was put on bed rest and told to take the week off from work. Unfortunately, I never made it back to work. I had to file for disability and move in with my parents, which is why I’ve never been a big fan of October 2nd. It’s an anniversary I wish I didn’t have, yet because of God’s amazing redemption, this October 2nd is going to be different. Why? Because this Tuesday, October 1st, I will board a plane to England and it will land on Wednesday, October 2nd. This is something only God could arrange. No one knew my dreaded anniversary, but God did. He is the One who arranged and worked out the details of this two-week trip. Not only that, God arranged it because of my work with Broken but Priceless Ministries, something which would have never happened if it wasn’t for my illness.

Sometimes dreams die, and I’m not going to lie; it’s hard! But know this: If God allows a dream of yours to die, it’s because He has something better in mind. God can and will use all the difficult things you’ve endured in life for your good. He CAN redeem the pain. Cry out to God. Ask Him to redeem every tear you’ve cried, and then wait for Him to act. Don’t give up on God. He hasn’t given up on you!

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” ~ Romans 8:26-28 (The Message)

© September 26, 2013

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A Message from Prison

9/25/2013

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By Josie Siler

Do you remember the day you got sick? Did your illness come on suddenly or was it a gradual occurrence? For me, it was sudden. Doctors were quick to determine I had an autoimmune disease, but two years passed before I had a name to go with the pain. For two years I put my life on hold, thinking that this would all quickly pass and I would be able to pick my life up where it left off.

Maybe I’m a little slow to grasp reality, but it was all of those two years and then some before I understood that I had a chronic illness. When that realization settled into my brain I felt suffocated. I felt like I was in the prison of my own sickly body with no way out. What about all the dreams I had? What about all the plans that were put on hold? What about all of the ways God was going to use me? Doggonit, I was going to do great things for the Lord!

Maybe you have felt these same emotions. There are no words to describe that kind of pain and life change. It’s the ultimate game of fruit basket upset – only, it’s not a game; it’s your life.

 It’s been five years and nine and a half months since the sudden onslaught of sickness in my life. I’d like to think I’ve learned a few things. I’ve learned that trust in God is my greatest weapon against hopelessness, misery, and defeat. The truth is God does have a plan for each of our lives, and it’s a good plan. We need to trust that His plans cannot be stopped. He is sovereign and all powerful. His purposes will be accomplished in each of our lives. 


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More importantly, I’ve learned that sickness does not equal a free pass on biblical obedience. The things we are commanded to do in the Bible still apply to us. We are still to love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind and love our neighbor as we love ourselves (My paraphrase of Matthew 22:37-39). We are still to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything Jesus has commanded (My paraphrase of Matthew 28:19-20).

As I think about what I’ve learned, I think about the Apostle Paul who wrote the Book of Ephesians. As he wraps up his letter to the church in Ephesus, Paul reminds them to pray for each other. He also asks for prayer for himself. “And don’t forget to pray for me. Pray that I’ll know what to say and have the courage to say it at the right time, telling the mystery to one and all, the Message that I, jailbird preacher that I am, am responsible for getting out (Ephesians 6:19-20, MSG).”

Paul used to be known as Saul. He was known for persecuting Christians before his encounter with the living God and subsequent conversion to Christianity. He became one of the most influential leaders of the early church and his teachings still influence our lives today. He traveled the known world telling others about Jesus. He was especially called to tell Gentiles (non-Jews) about the mystery of Jesus and God’s plan to save humanity. Paul was beaten, threatened, and nearly died on more than one occasion. Yet he persevered! He continued to be obedient to Christ in the midst of great trials and suffering.

I wonder what went through Paul’s mind when he was imprisoned? Did he wonder why God didn’t rescue him? I don’t know. What I do know is that Paul continued to obey God. He didn’t let his present situation stop him from the call of God upon His life.

While in prison Paul wrote letters to the churches and individuals with whom he had built relationships. The Book of Ephesians is one of these letters. It is part of a group of Books known as “The Prison Epistles,” which also include Philippians, Colossians and Philemon. Paul wasn’t in a prison but he was a prisoner under house arrest with a Roman soldier to guard him. “He lived there two whole years at his own expense, and welcomed all who came to him, proclaiming the kingdom of God and teaching about the Lord Jesus Christ with all boldness and without hindrance (Acts 28:30-31, ESV).”

What a challenge! I’m not sure what God is calling you to today, but I do know that even as a sick person, you can have great impact for the Kingdom of God. Obedience to God – even in the small things – is a win for the Kingdom. Let’s pray that each of us will know what to say and have the courage to say it at the right time, telling the mystery to one and all, the Message that we too, are responsible for getting out in spite of the prison of sickness we are in.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” -Matthew 6:34, The Message

© September 25, 2013

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The Wisdom of a Newborn

9/19/2013

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

There’s a new man in my life. Well, maybe the word “man” is a bit misleading considering he’s only three-weeks old. My sister just had a little boy, bringing the grand total of nephews I have to three. Although my newest nephew is only a mere three-weeks old, he has stolen my heart. I've spent as much time as I possibly can at my sister’s over these last few weeks, and I've noticed something: Babies have absolute faith in their parents. They feel safe and secure and don’t have a care in the world. They don't lay in their cribs worrying about where their next meal will come from. They trust their parents completely.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Of course babies trust their parents! They’re supposed to!” And while I understand this, I can’t help but wonder why adults don’t trust God in the same way. Stop and think about it. Although we are adults and we like to think we’re self-sufficient, we’re really not. Our Daddy God is the One who takes care of our needs. He provides the money, food, clothing, and place to live, and He does it because He loves us. He wants to take care of us. Yet far too often, we get angry at Him when things go wrong. We blame Him for our problems, when He’s the One to whom we should be running.

I became very aware of this while holding my nephew the other day. He’s having a hard time with acid reflux. Although he’s able to eat, lately it’s been causing him pain. Yet he hasn’t gotten angry at his parents. He hasn’t refused to be held or tried to get away from them because he blames them for his problems. On the contrary, he’s found comfort and peace in his parents’ arms. His acid reflux hasn’t gone away yet, but he knows that he is loved, safe, and secure when in their arms.

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I’ve always been open about the time in my life when I wasn’t quite as trusting with God. I blamed Him for my sickness and decided I wanted nothing to do with Him, but this only hurt me even more. I was running from the only One who could give me true and lasting comfort. It took a while (and by that I mean years) for me to realize that the very One I was running from was the One I needed to be running to. Even after I returned to God, my trust in Him was tenuous at best. As much as I hate to admit this, God had to show me He was trustworthy. Although I was in the wrong, He had to help me see the truth of His love. I’m so thankful God didn’t give up on me, even though He had the right.

It’s easy to blame God when things go wrong in our lives. We often need someone to blame for our problems, and God is an easy target. However, we shouldn’t blame God for anything. He is the only One who always loves us, never fails us, never turns against us, and never leaves us. God IS trustworthy.

He loves you, sickness and all. Don’t run away from Him. You’re only hurting yourself. I have been sick long enough to say I’ve tried to be self-sufficient, I’ve tried living without God, and I’ve dealt with my sickness by trusting God. The only thing that works is turning to God. Like my nephew has learned, the problems won’t necessarily go away, but there is a comfort only God can give. Whatever you’re going through, turn to God. Find the comfort only He can give. And if you’re angry at God or blame Him for your problems, it’s time to be honest with Him. He already knows how you feel, but healing can’t happen until you stop hiding from the truth – the truth of what you’re going through, the truth of what you’re feeling, and the truth about God in all of this.

It’s time to learn from the wisdom of a newborn. Cry out to your Daddy God and find comfort in His loving arms. You won’t be sorry!

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. And so we should not be like cringing, fearful slaves, but we should behave like God’s very own children, adopted into the bosom of His family, and calling to Him, ‘Daddy, Father.’  For His Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we really are God’s children. And since we are His children, we will share His treasures—for all God gives to His Son Jesus is now ours too. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering.  Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will give us later.” ~ Romans 8:14-18 (TLB)

© September 19, 2013

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Calling All Superheroes!

9/12/2013

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

“Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!” If you haven’t guessed by now, I am a child of the 80s and 90s. Even at a young age, I loved superheroes, a love that has continued on in my adult years. My fascination began with a mullet-haired superhero named Captain Planet whose job was to save the world from villains, pollution, and natural disasters. Thankfully, my choice of superheroes has evolved as I've grown older, yet I still love a good story filled with drama, problems, and the overcoming power of good over evil.

Although it may seem silly for a grown woman to love the stories of Spiderman, Thor, Superman, Captain America, Green Lantern, and Iron Man, I find their stories comforting. Every one of these superheroes has a big weakness, the most famous of which is Superman and his aversion to kryptonite. When he’s exposed, he becomes weak and sickly. Yet he always manages to push through his weakness and do great things. If I’m honest, I see truth in the stories of superheroes. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think people can fly, turn themselves into an iron machine, or have magical hammers that give supernatural strength, although admittedly, I think that would be amazing to see. Yet I think all people, especially those who are sick, have the ability to rise above the limitations of their weaknesses with the help of God.
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The Chinese symbol for crisis is made up of two symbols - danger and opportunity. Although it seems unlikely that a chronic illness could ever come with an opportunity, I've found it to be true. Many sick people have to quit their jobs because their body isn't able to work a 9-5 job, but because of this, they have time to pursue their dreams. I know people who have become photographers, decorators, bakers, and even blanket makers. I became a writer and started this nonprofit ministry. Whether or not it feels like it, you have unique talents and gifts to offer the world. Instead of focusing on the danger/problems of living with a chronic illness, focus on the opportunities. If you don't see it, ask God to help you see what you CAN do. He sees beauty and potential when He looks at you, and He wants to help you become what He created you to be.

God is the greatest superhero of them all. He has supernatural strength and power. He is all-knowing. He is everywhere, all the time. Nothing is greater or more powerful than Him, and the wonderful thing about God is He has no weakness. Nothing can weaken or destroy Him, and this amazing, all-powerful God loves each of us. Scripture tells us that when we are God's children and we cry out to Him, He will fill us with His strength and power through His indwelling Holy Spirit. What destroys us is when we try to live by our own abilities. We become like Superman after he’s been exposed to kryptonite – weak, exhausted, and powerless. Yet when we remember that we need God to help us live each day, He will help us rise above the limitations of our sickness and do the amazing things He created us to do.  

Will you still have days when you’re sick and unable to do things? Most likely, yes. I still have days when I'm too sick to do anything. Yet having a dream and knowing what my purpose in life is what motivates me each day to get out of bed and try. Sometimes, having small goals is just what it takes to push through and rise above the problems that come with a chronic illness.

In my opinion, every person reading this is a superhero. Either you live with a chronic illness or you’re the caregiver of someone who’s sick, and that makes you special. So you have a weakness; you’re not alone. Everyone does. Your worth isn't found in what you can’t do. Your value comes from how you respond to your weakness and what you do with the gifts God has given you. He has given each of us the ability to rise above our problems and bless and change the world around us, but if all you do is focus on your kryptonite, you will become the victim of your weakness and never fulfill the purpose for which God created you.

It’s time to answer God’s call to action. The world needs to see some real-life superheroes – people who rise above their circumstances and make a difference. Are you in?

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” ~ Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

© September 12, 2013                                                              

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Ain't That a Kick in the Head?

9/5/2013

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

Picture it: A baby giraffe is born. Because the mother giraffe is so tall, he is born by falling ten feet to the ground and landing on his back. He manages to roll over and tucks his feet underneath his body. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have long to rest. After a minute passes, the mother giraffe positions herself behind him, and gives him a swift kick. Not surprisingly, her kick sends him rolling head over heels. But once is not enough. She proceeds to continually kick her newborn until he manages to stand in order to get away from her advances, but she’s not done yet. After the baby stands for the first time with his wobbly legs, the mother then kicks his feet out from under him sending him crashing down to the ground. She then repeats the process of kicking him until he is able to get up quickly and efficiently.

Dean Martin once sang a song about love entitled “Ain’t that a Kick in the Head.” If ever there was a theme song for an animal, I think the baby giraffe can claim this song as his. I can’t imagine ever kicking anyone, let alone an infant. It seems cruel for the mother giraffe to kick her baby repeatedly. Yet zoologists say the relationship between mother giraffes and their offspring are one of the more beautiful relationships in all of the wild. Giraffes are quite affectionate, not to mention protective of their children. They even go into mourning when a member of their family dies. So why in the world would such loving creatures choose to use their newborns as punching bags? In a word – love.

I know what you’re thinking. “If that’s love, count me out!” And while I wholeheartedly agree that I would prefer to not be dropkicked in order to feel loved, I have learned that there actually is a good reason for the giraffes’ behavior. When a giraffe is born, he weighs between 100-150 pounds and is six feet tall. Needless to say, it is very difficult for him to learn how to walk. In fact, even as an adult, giraffes have a difficult life because of their great height. If a giraffe can’t learn to walk quickly after he is born, he will die, especially if he lives in the wild. A number of animals would love to eat a baby giraffe. The initial kicking of the baby (also known as a calf) is to protect him and keep him from dying. But why does the mother make him fall and then repeat the process once he’s learned to stand? She wants him to remember how he got up and to teach him that when he falls in life, he should immediately get back up and try again. 

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Lately, I’ve been thinking about persevering when it seems pointless or not worth the effort to continue trying. For people living with a chronic illness, nothing is easy. We have to work hard and it almost always takes longer for us to accomplish something than it would if we were healthy. The things most people take for granted are difficult for those of us with an illness. Things like washing a load of laundry, getting the mail, and cleaning the house are often difficult, not to mention more challenging things such as graduating from college, pursuing a dream, going to work, and attending church. These all require a great deal of effort. Life is hard. Every day we wake up, we make a choice whether or not we will push through the pain, exhaustion, and mental fog we are feeling and try to accomplish something. Because of that, there are times when we wonder, “What’s the point in trying?” We question if we’re making any progress. We begin to doubt we’ll ever see our dreams become a reality. I can’t help but wonder if that’s one of the reasons why God made giraffes so tall. He knew we would need a visual reminder to not give up.

Sometimes you may feel like you've been dropped on your head and then sent rolling head over heels by a kick to the backside. Maybe you’re going through one of those times now. For those of you who are, I want to encourage you to not give up. Don’t quit! Persevere through the pain and frustrations. Stand back up and try again. It’s okay if your legs are a bit wobbly like the baby giraffe’s. If you get tired and feel like you've run out of strength to keep trying, ask God to help you. The Bible tells us God will give us His strength; all we have to do is ask. One of these days you will accomplish what you’re trying so hard to do, and when that day comes, it will be even sweeter because you persevered and didn't give up.

“Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now He’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility He plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” ~ Hebrews 12:1-3 (The Message)

© September 5, 2013

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Running to the Finish Line

9/4/2013

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By Josie Siler

In July there was a heartwarming story going around about a little boy who asked a Marine to run with him after getting separated from his group during a 5K. The Marine not only finished the race with the boy, but he “urged him on when the boy wanted to give up and ensured that the boy saw the course to completion where he was reunited with his party.” You can read the full story and see a photo here: http://lite987.com/soldier-boy-5k/

As impressed as I am with a little boy who can run a 5K, I’m also struck by the kindness of the Marine who put his own desire to beat his friends aside to make sure this boy finished the race.  We all need a little help sometimes!
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We just finished a study of the spiritual armor given to us by God. Let me ask you something: When you think about yourself fighting a spiritual battle do you imagine yourself fighting alone? I did. I had this picture in my head of myself decked out in my belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness and shoes fitted with the readiness of the gospel of peace as I hold the shield of faith - extinguishing every fiery dart the devil throws my way. The helmet of salvation is on my head and I’m wielding the sword of the Spirit with incredible agility. All the while I’m praying, asking God to help me in the battle. It’s me and an army of angels fighting against the rulers, authorities, cosmic powers, and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Then I read the second half of Ephesians 6:18. Reading in The Message, we are told to, “Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.” The picture in my head just changed. I’m not the only one in this battle. You’re not the only one in this battle. We’re in it together. We are responsible for each other.

Not everyone chooses to take on this responsibility. However, if we do pray for each other and keep each other’s spirits up, we’ll all make it! Some of us will get there slower than we intended, like the kind Marine. Others will be like the boy who asked for help. We’ll make it only because others have decided to take the time to help and encourage us all the way to the finish line.

Why is it so important to make it to the finish line? The finish line is eternal life with our Heavenly Father. That’s important, friends. Let’s help each other fight the good fight and finish the race. I’m running with you!

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of His return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to His appearing.” –2 Timothy 4:7-8, MSG

© September 4, 2013

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    Erin Elizabeth Austin

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    Erin Elizabeth Austin is a writer and speaker with a passion to help people find healing in the midst of their brokenness.

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    Josie Siler

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    Josie Siler, like millions of others, is living with chronic illness. She is eager to share the hope and joy that she has found in Christ, whether that is in a church, at a women’s retreat, over a cup of hot cocoa, or through a blog post.
    Click here to email Josie.


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