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Confessions of a Weirdo

9/24/2015

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

I’m different – special, unique, complex. In essence, I’m weird. I wish I could blame it all on the lupus, but the truth is I’ve always been a bit odd. I don’t fit into a category. From loving all genres of music to being a bit of a tomboy who also likes to dress up, I always find myself on the outskirt of societal norms. And that’s okay.

Unfortunately, it’s taken me too long to understand this truth. As children, we are all given a set of expectations from our parents or guardians, be it good or bad. We take what we see in the adults around us and we form our belief system. The majority of us try to take what we learn, adapt, and fit in. The problem occurs when we realize that nine times out of ten our true selves are different than how we believe we should be.

I was reminded of this the other week when I was spending time with my nephews. They wanted to watch a Disney movie called The Lucky Duck. For those who haven’t had the privilege of watching this cartoon, it actually has a good message despite the annoying theme song that will stay in your head for days! It’s about a group of toys that are shipped away because they don’t meet factory regulations. Lucky, a rubber duck who can’t squeak, is the one who understands it’s okay to be different and leads them to a group of children who love having a toy that isn’t like all the others.

In some ways, I think we’re all like the toys in The Lucky Duck. We all have something that makes us different from everyone else. Whether it’s sickness, a chocolate addiction, the inability to stay away from the mall, or a love of comic books, we are all unique, and that’s a good thing! God loves who we are. He didn’t make a mistake when He created us. He delights in us!

One of my favorite psalms is Psalm 37. The most quoted verse in the entire psalm is verse 4, which says, “Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” It’s a wonderful verse and there’s a powerful message there, but I think many times we stop at verse four and don’t read the rest of the psalm because halfway down in verses 23 and 24 there’s an even more powerful message. It says:

The steps of man are established by the Lord; and He delights in his way. When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong; because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.

Stop and think about think about for a moment. God delights in YOU. He looks at you, sees the things which make you special, and He feels joy! He loves you so much, that no matter what happens in your life, God is walking beside you holding your hand. He doesn’t abandon you or ship you away because you’re different from the rest of society. You make God happy.

I don’t know about you, but that’s a foreign concept to me. When you’re faced with seeing how others react to your differences in a negative light, it’s hard to imagine making God happy. We’ve all heard that God loves us, and we get that to a certain extent. It’s almost like we believe God has to love us because it’s His job as our Father, but that doesn’t mean He has to like us. Yet miraculously, He does!

Imagine how your life would change if you could fully grasp the truth that not only does God love you, but He delights in you. Just like playing with a young child can bring you joy and laughter, you do the same to God.

It doesn’t matter that you’re different from everyone else. It’s what makes you special. It’s time to stop hiding who you are. Embrace who God made you to be. Be different. Be special. Be weird!

God loves you for being you. Isn’t it time you do the same?

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” ~ Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

© September 24, 2015

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The Birds Made Me Lose It!

9/22/2015

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By Josie Siler

Driving to work this week I noticed something fascinating out of the corner of my eye. I was driving along a two lane highway and had almost reached the edge of town. There were a couple of cars coming in my direction, so I couldn’t give this strange sight my full attention.

Trying to be a good and safe driver, I took a couple of quick peeks while trying to keep my attention mostly on the road in front of me.

“That’s so strange!” I laughed. “What are you all doing up there?” I asked. The birds couldn’t hear me, or answer back for that matter, but I asked them anyway.

Now where I come from the sight of many birds on a telephone or electric line isn’t a strange site. However, what I saw was odd. There were what looked like a hundred or so little birds sitting on the line and clumped all over the top of the pole.

I laughed out loud and wondered what they were all doing there and how could they possibly all fit sitting like that. I was baffled and wanted nothing more than to stop and take a photo. There were cars behind me and I was already an hour late for work, so I kept on driving.

By the time I headed home a couple of hours later I had forgotten all about the crazy birds. That is, until something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye.

Oh yeah! The birds! How can they still be sitting like that?

The road was a little more open this time so I was able to get a better look. I don’t know if it was the better look or a different perspective, but what I saw was not birds.

What I had mistaken for a hundred or more little birds was in fact a vine covered in lots of tiny leaves, wrapped around the pole and out onto the wire.

I again laughed at myself and swore I must have finally lost it, whatever “it” was.

This story may be silly, but it’s a reminder that things aren’t always as they seem. I’m reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:12. In The Message it reads:

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as He knows us!

It’s easy to assume we know what’s going on in the world, and even in our own lives. We see things happening and we make logical conclusions about what we see. The problem is we don’t always see very clearly. Sometimes we get it wrong. Sometimes the conclusions we come to aren’t correct. I find this encouraging. I don’t like to be wrong, but when being wrong means that God has something planned that’s better than I could ever imagine, I’m okay being wrong!

Our eyesight is fuzzy. We don’t always see things as God sees them. Often we don’t see the whole picture. When we just see a part of the picture it can cause us to jump to the wrong conclusions. Take chronic illness as an example. What we typically see are the things we’ve lost because of illness, the pain we’re in, the suffering we have to go through, and the dreams that have been shattered. When we look at those things it’s easy to conclude that God doesn’t love us, that the world would be a better place if we weren’t in it, that our friends and family would be better off without us, or that we must have done something terrible wrong to deserve the punishment of illness.

Friends, these conclusions are wrong – so wrong. The truth is found in a different perspective, God’s perspective. One day it will all make sense and we’ll see the good that came from being chronically ill. As God’s Word says, “We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing Him directly just as he knows us!”

Sometimes we get a glimpse here on earth of the good things that have come from being ill. In my own life I can see (and be thankful for) the closer relationship I have with God, new friendships, new dreams, and this ministry. These are all things that have happened because I have a chronic illness.

So what can we do now, here on earth, with our limited vision? God’s Word gives us some great advice. The next verse, 1 Corinthians 13:13 (MSG), reads:

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

I love that! It’s so simple, yet impossible without God’s help. Are you ready to trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, and love extravagantly? If so, ask God to help you and let’s get this steady, unswerving, and extravagant party started!

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
~ 2 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)

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Secrets of a Dreamer

9/15/2015

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By Josie Siler

“Shut up!” I silently yelled, trying to silence the voice in my head. Why wouldn’t it just leave me alone and let me do what I came here to do?

I was at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer’s Conference and I had a plan. I had a finished first draft of a novel safely tucked away in my computer at home. I had multiple copies of the first three chapters printed off and attached to something called a One Sheet that told agents and editors about me and the book I had written. I had read about how to pitch a book and even though I was nervous, I was prepared.

As the week passed I pitched agents and editors the novel, all while thinking about another book I wanted to write. I sat in class after class scribbling notes as fast as my sore hand would write. I was supposed to be learning how to make my book better and get it published. But that voice in my head just wouldn’t shut up!

Everything I learned made me think of this idea I had. By the end of the week it was clear what God wanted me to do. I was headed in a new direction. I visualized what my website would look like, and how I would promote the book I haven’t even begun to write. I went home with a new plan and fresh excitement.

That was in May. Month after month passed and the voice in my head kept bugging me. When are you going to start building your website? When are you going to make your Facebook Page? Remember what they said at the conference about people coming back next year and being in the same place they were in this year? Do you want to be one of those people?!

“NO! I don’t! Stop yelling at me!”

I had all kinds of excuses, good excuses. I’ve had a pretty terrible summer health-wise. I didn’t have the brain power or the energy to figure out how to do what needed to be done. I didn’t know how to build a website from scratch. I couldn’t afford to pay anyone or make anything fancy. But there was something else too.

I was afraid.

The new website I was going to build was me. It’s who I am, what I love, my very essence. What if people didn’t like it? Would that mean they don’t like me?

I got a lot of advice from a lot of people, people who know much more than I do. I listened; I really did. Their advice was good. Pick one audience, do one thing and do it well. It made sense – but I didn’t take their advice.

You see, I just can’t segment these different aspects of my life. God made me this way and I think He did so for a reason. I’m a chronically ill, Harley riding, shooting sport enthusiast, adventure seeking, writer and photographer who loves leather and lace and longs to do nothing more than point people toward Jesus. I love to tell stories through words and photos.

It may not be the conventional thing to do or the wisest thing to do, but for me it’s the right thing to do because it’s who I am. I have to be true to the unique person God made me to be. I’m different, and it’s my prayer that I’m just different enough that people will take notice. Not of me, but of the God who made me.

So I did it, and it’s really hard work. There’s a steep learning curve and it’s twice as much writing and using social media than I’ve been doing. I don’t know if I’m up to it, but I’m trying. I’m pushing back the fear and doubt and embracing the voice in my head that’s pushing me toward greater things, things I didn’t think I could do.

You may know that voice; it’s the voice of the Holy Spirit. He convicts and prompts and pushes us toward Jesus. He helps us become the person God wants us to be. I’m sorry I told him to “shut up” – that was the fear talking, and my own sinfulness.

I left the Writer’s Conference with a dream and today I’m closer to fulfilling it. I’m taking risks and putting myself out there, for better or for worse.

The important thing is I’m walking in obedience. I’m embracing the promise found in Isaiah 48:17 (NLT), “This is what the Lord says-- your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow.’”

Where is God leading you? Are there things God is asking you to do but you’re resisting because of fear or uncertainty? I want to encourage you to go for it. Take that leap, dive in, and don’t hold back! Sure, you may fail. I may fail. But even in failure there is success because we tried. We obeyed.

Let’s tell our fear to “Shut up!” and embrace the challenge God has put before us. I have a feeling it’s going to be worth it.

*If you would like to see my new creation, visit www.josiesiler.com and join the fun!

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” ~ Isaiah 43:19

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To Be Human

9/8/2015

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By Josie Siler

I don’t want to look. I can’t look. I have to look.

Have you seen them? Photographs of displaced peoples looking for a safe place to live – men, women, and children who perished on the way to an unknown destination. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. There is so much suffering happening in our world today. Terror, persecution, murder, hate, floods, fires, drought, starvation. The list could go on and on.

Watching the news is difficult. Hearing of and seeing so many people suffering so deeply is absolutely unbearable.

“Josie,” you say, “I’m suffering too much myself. I’m in the fight of my life over here just trying to survive. I can’t possibly help anyone else. I can’t even help myself.”

I hear you. I understand. Your suffering is indeed great. I don’t want to add to your burden. However, life isn’t as kind as I am. Right now, life around us reads like a tragedy.

It’s easier to look away. Don’t read. Don’t watch. Don’t listen. Don’t see. It’s easier that way.

It may be easier, for a time. But what happens when it’s your friend? Your family member? Your loved one? What happens when you need help? Don’t you want others to care then? Don’t you want others to care now?

The thing about caring is it makes us human. Each time we stop caring, when we block out the world and the things happening in it, we lose a piece of our humanity.

So what can we do? You were right; it’s hard to do much when we’re sick and need help ourselves. However, 1 Thessalonians 5:14-22 (NLT) gives us a few ideas.

Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.

See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. Do not scoff at prophecies, but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. Stay away from every kind of evil.

The first step is to care. I can’t tell you how vitally important it is to care about and love others. We need to be good to each other. We need to be kind to each other, even if we are different or believe different things. That doesn’t give us an excuse to not care. We need to challenge, encourage, and care for our fellow human beings. We just do. No excuses.

The second step is to pray. Chronically ill people often have a secret weapon at our disposal called time. Many of us can’t work, but we can pray. We can pray from our beds, we can pray while we’re waiting in the doctor’s office, we can pray while we’re in the car.

Time is precious, and there isn’t a better use for it than talking to God. When you thank Him and ask Him to intervene in our dark world, you will be blessed. Another natural product of prayer is joy. Even in the midst of difficult circumstances we can be filled with joy if we are in communion with our Lord.

The last step is to be informed. Don’t assume you know what God is doing in a situation. He can bring great good out of the most evil of circumstances. Look for where the Holy Spirit is working and join Him in prayer.

There’s a lot of information flying around the internet and news channels these days and it’s hard to know what is true. Test everything. Bring it to the Word of God and see if it lines up with what the Bible has to say. Keep what is good and true, and throw out the rest.

There is evil in the world today, so much evil. However, our God is a great God and He is victorious! Can I get an Amen?! The light will shine in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it. If God is in you, His light is in you.

We all have a light within us and it’s time to let it out. Together we are better and together our lights shine brighter, making this dark world we live in a brighter and a better place. Are you ready to let your light shine? Are you ready to care, to pray, and to become informed? If so, let out your battle cry, we’ve got a war with the darkness to win!

“Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way,
and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless
until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God will make this happen,
for he who calls you is faithful.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 (NLT)

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Confessions of a Victim

9/4/2015

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

Victim. It’s a word I’ve always hated with a passion. There are many reasons, but the main one being that I have been a victim. After being subjected to sexual abuse as a young girl, my life drastically changed from a vivacious girl to one content hiding behind the pages of a book. This only became more true when I was diagnosed with lupus at the age of seventeen. Life no longer held joy for me. It had beaten me up, kicked me when I was down, and stomped all over my heart. I became a victim of my circumstances.

That’s the thing about becoming a victim. It often sneaks up on you, striking when you’re not looking. It steals your happiness and zest for life and replaces them with lies. Victimization makes you no longer look at life in a positive light. Instead of seeing the glass as half-full, you see the glass as half-empty. “Victory isn’t possible for someone like you,” it whispers. “Bad things happen in life, and they’ll always happen to you. Why even bother?”

Although it’s readily accepted that someone who has survived abuse or trauma is considered a victim, there’s another facet most fail to recognize. People who have been touched by chronic illness, whether they’re the ones sick or they are caregivers, often fall prey to becoming a victim. Merriam-Webster defines a victim as “one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent.”[1]

I think my favorite word in the definition is “usually.” People are usually affected in a negative manner when something difficult or tragic occurs, but they don’t have to be. They have a choice. A person gets to decide how he will respond to the circumstances life has thrown his way. Will he admit defeat and simply quit? Will he resign himself to the problems he faces and live each day in the monotony of his problems? Or will he choose a different path? Will he decide that no matter how bad things may get, he won’t be defeated? Will he choose to awake each day and try to live life to the fullest? Will he choose to thrive no matter what?

I know that life isn’t easy. Trust me, I understand! Raped when I was eight-years old, diagnosed with lupus when I was seventeen, fibromyalgia when I was twenty, Crohns when I was twenty-five, forced to quit my job, move in with my parents, spend all my money on medical bills, and nearly dying on four separate occasions, I get that life is hard. Some of us have it harder than others, but we all face problems. There’s nothing we can do about it. It’s simply a fact of life. But what we can do is choose to not be a victim.

We can choose to get out of bed every morning and try. We can choose to not allow a diagnosis make us cower in fear. We can choose to believe that God is bigger than our sickness, and He can use the likes of people like us. We can choose to do more with our lives than simply wait to die.

Being a victim is a choice – the easy one. I’m not going to lie; choosing to rise above our problems is one of the hardest decisions a person can make. It requires faith, determination, and a lot of hard work. It means looking at what our lives have become and reminding ourselves that we serve a big God who can do great and mighty things. Sometimes, I’ve even had to speak out loud and remind myself that “God is exalted. Satan is defeated. And Jesus is Lord!”

If you have a relationship with Christ, then you are blessed. As Beth Moore says, “You are Bountifully Loved Extravagantly Saved Supplied Empowered Delivered.” As a son or daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords you’re promised every spiritual blessing, but that doesn’t happen when you become focused on all the wrong that’s occurred in your life. Being a victim steals so much from you. Don’t miss what you have because you’re focused on what you’ve lost. Don’t miss your blessing!

You are not a victim! Jesus’ death and resurrection is the guarantee. There is absolutely nothing that can defeat you, unless you let it. Your attitude determines what your life will become. No sickness, problem, or trauma can steal your victory as long as you keep your focus on Christ. You are a victor!

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ." ~ Ephesians 1:3

© September 4, 2015

[1] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/victim

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Confident Smirks and Serious Business

9/1/2015

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By Josie Siler

His knuckles turned white as they tightened on the wheel; his eyes narrowed into a concentrated gaze while the corners of his mouth twisted up in a confident smirk. Determination was written all over his face. This was serious business.

“Go!”

Right on cue, Hudson began to pedal with all his might. He held the wheel straight and his aim was true.

“Go Hudson! You can do it!” The cheers of his excited family and encouraging onlookers turned his confident smirk into a determined smile. But he wasn’t distracted. He stayed the course, and as his load got heavier he pedaled even harder. He gave it his all until he couldn’t pedal any more.

It was enough. Hudson was victorious! He didn’t just place; he got first place in the Discover Downsville Day Pedal Tractor Pull.

Hudson is my cousin’s son and he’s only four-years old. I could learn a lot from this kid, and the other children who competed this weekend. They were so determined. I can’t even begin to tell you how cute all of those little determined faces were; cute enough to melt a snowman’s heart!

Since the weekend, the pedal tractor pull hasn’t left my mind. I’ve been thinking of it off and on ever since and the Holy Spirit has been using it to stir my heart, to remind me how important it is to live life with everything we’ve got, to stay on track.

It’s been a difficult summer for me physically. I’ve felt sick – a lot. I struggle for strength and energy to live each day and frankly, I have been giving up and giving in too often. I’ve been like the kids who would veer to the left or the right when pedaling, giving up the distance they could have gone if they had gone in a straight line.

When you’re sick, it’s hard to try to live life well when you feel so terrible. We all have days when our body won’t cooperate and making it to the couch to have a movie marathon is considered a victory. However, when those days turn into weeks and months, what do we do?

It’s easy to feel defeated. It’s easy to give up and give in. It’s easy to stop setting the alarm and stop trying to get up and get things accomplished. It’s easy to expect tomorrow to be just as bad as today. I know; I’ve been there. I am there!

But friends, this attitude is wrong. I’m telling you and I’m telling myself, we were made for so much more. I’m reminded of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27. The Message translation reads:

You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally.

I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.

We have to try. Every day we have to try. We can’t give up and we can’t give in. Paul compares living the Christian life to a race. Not everyone who begins the race will win. Not everyone who begins to live the Christian life will keep running toward God. We won’t all make it.

For some, life will become too hard and we’ll give up, turning away from God. For others, no matter what life throws at us, no matter what obstacles we need to overcome, we’ll keep running the race set before us – and we’ll win! I want you to be in the second group.

I want you to win because winning means spending an eternity with God in Heaven. Winning means that all the trials we’ve overcome in life will be nothing but a memory as we live in eternal victory.

So let’s run hard for the finish line. Let’s give it everything we’ve got. Let’s not allow ourselves to give up or give in. Let’s keep setting our alarms to get up for work or church or whatever we have planned for the day. It’s okay if we have to go back to bed, but don’t give up trying. Let’s go to bed each night with the hope that tomorrow will be better than today.

Let’s try, every day. Let’s check our attitudes and our expectations and live with hope and determination. Let’s enjoy the ride and find things to celebrate along the way.

Let’s ask God to help us get up when we fall so we can continue running the race. I don’t care if I have to drag myself across the finish line by my fingernails; I’m determined to make it and I want you next to me in the winner’s circle!

What do you say; are you ready to finish this race? It’s a serious business, but if you’re determined, go ahead and break out your confident smirk because with God’s help, we’ve got this race in the bag!

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” –Romans 12:12 (NIV)

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Confessions of a Weirdo

The Birds Made Me Lose It!

Secrets of a Dreamer

To Be Human

Confessions of a Victim

Confident Smirks and Serious Business

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