Being Christians, we all immediately begin praying for healing as soon as we are diagnosed with a chronic illness. We pray, fast, and are anointed with oil. We do whatever we think we are supposed to do in order for God to heal us. Yet the majority of us are still waiting to be healed. So what happens in our hearts if God chooses not to heal us this side of Heaven?
Like most people, I have had the same experience. I prayed for healing, but God didn't answer my prayers in the way I wanted. In fact, I became even sicker. I went from having one autoimmune disease to having two. When this happened, I became angry at God.
For a long time, I expected God to zap me with lightning, but He didn't. I expected Him to be angry at me the way I was angry with Him, but He wasn't. I expected Him to punish me somehow for my anger, but He never did a thing. Puzzled by His actions, or lack thereof, I began to ask God why He wasn't doing anything to me, and in that moment, I began to hear Him speak to my heart.
I learned an important truth that day. God can handle our frustrations, disappointments, and the anger which comes out of our sickness. He's not put off by these feelings; He's the One who placed within us the ability to have these emotions. The problem with being angry at God is we often don't talk to God about what we're feeling. We're ashamed of our anger, and as a result, we don't deal with it. We allow our anger to drive a wedge between us and God. This is what harms our relationship with God, not the anger itself.
I have met countless people like this over the past two years - people who are miserable because they haven't gone to God with their frustrations. What started out as rift in their relationship with God has turned into a huge canyon. Having been there myself, I hate to see anyone go through the same thing. I know how depressing it can be.
So my advice to you is this: don't let another day go by without talking to God about all you are feeling and experiencing. Be completely honest. Hold nothing back. God already knows; He's just waiting to hear from you. Just because you didn't receive the healing you prayed for doesn't mean God doesn't care.
"Think about Jesus. He patiently endured the angry insults that sinful people were shouting at Him. Think about Him so that you won’t get discouraged and stop trying." ~ Hebrews 12:3,12-13 (ERV)
(c) May 9, 2012