Around this time last year, God impressed on my heart a goal He wanted me to pray about for the year 2012. He began to show me that I lived a mediocre life because I prayed mediocre prayers and trusted God to only do mediocre things. So I prayed. I asked God to transform my view of Him, as well as my life. I prayed that 2012 would be the year when I saw God in a completely different way, and that it would change the rest of my life.
I have to be honest. God has answered that prayer, but He did it in a way I never expected. Although I have seen God do many amazing things, I have also been through some difficult and frustrating times – moments when I have wanted to scream, cry, and at times, even quit. You see, in February, I got sick with pneumonia which refused to go away. Six weeks went by before I saw any improvement, but even then the improvement was minimal. It has been eight months and I am still on antibiotics. The infection rotates between my sinuses and my lungs, but at all times, there has been an infection.
I’m used to living with a chronic illness, but living with a chronic infection is another story. Not to mention the fact that autoimmune diseases don’t like antibiotics, which means that my lupus and Crohns have been flared up the entire time I've been sick. More days than not, my body has felt like it’s on fire because of inflammation. Pain has become my constant companion. And with everything that’s happened this year, I have sometimes asked, “God, what are You doing?!”
So has God answered my prayer for 2012? I believe He has. It has been through the frustrations, sickness, and pain I have seen God do some remarkable things in my life in some remarkable ways. Because I've had to be on antibiotics, I've been forced to come off the majority of my lupus and Crohns medications. I’m now taking natural supplements that have set me free from some nasty medication side-effects. Because I've been sick, I've had the time to focus on Broken but Priceless Ministries, which is growing each week and is even starting to reach people in other countries. Because of this, God has made some editors aware of a book I’m writing, and several want to publish it. And because God can do anything, He has taken a song I've written and played it on the radio. But even better than all of this combined, God has shown me areas in my heart and mind that were broken, and He has healed me and made me whole. My body may still be broken, but I am the happiest I've ever been.
There is great wisdom in Paul’s message. Choosing to live our lives focused on Christ won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. When we stay focused on the goal of knowing Christ, we will see Him work in ways we can’t even imagine. God is greater, stronger, and more powerful than anyone or anything. He is trustworthy. Just because our lives aren't always easy doesn't mean we shouldn't trust Him. We need to stay focused on the goal – the goal of knowing God and serving Him with all our hearts.
“So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it.” ~ Philippians 3:15-16 (The Message)
© November 4, 2012