Growing up, I would often stay with my grandfather after the school day ended. He and I always had fun, but he also used our time together to teach me about life, family, and music. I learned many things during our afternoon visits, but the one which has carried me throughout life has been the love of music which he instilled in me.

You see, Papa was an extremely talented man. If an instrument had a string on it, my grandfather could play it. From the mandolin to the bass guitar, my grandfather knew how to make an instrument sing. We would often listen to many genres of music, and he would teach me how to distinguish which instrument was being played. Because of this, I now love all types of music. Depending on my mood, I enjoy listening to anything from bluegrass to gospel. I guess that is why my mind is like a radio. Unless I'm asleep, there is always a song playing in my head. During a conversation, I will often have a song pop-in my head that relates to what was just said. For me, life is a musical.

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

For over a year, I have had the privilege of studying the fruits of the Spirit. I admit that when I first began, I didn't think there was too much to learn. In my mind, I knew what love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control were and how they relate to God. How complicated could it possibly be to write a book about these things? Yet the more I have studied these character traits of God, the more I have realized just how naive I have been when it comes to the things of God.

I began studying the fruits of the Spirit in conjunction with a book I am currently writing. The idea is that for those living with a chronic illness, it's much harder to be filled with the fruit of the Spirit because often, we don't feel like God loves us. We don't feel like He's been faithful or good to us, so why should we be faithful and loving to Him?

These are questions often asked by believers who are suffering. They are questions which need to be answered because if we don't believe God cares about us, then it's incredibly difficult to have a good relationship with Him.

I'm quickly approaching an anniversary. But it's not an anniversary anyone would want to celebrate. You see, come April, I will have been diagnosed with lupus for ten years. And it was during this time ten years ago, I began to experience the first warning signs that my body wasn't doing well.

A lot has changed in my life during the past ten years, yet it hasn't been the type of changes a senior in high school hopes for or plans. I'm not married. I don't have any children or a house of my own. I'm not a successful nurse or a physical therapist. I don't have money to spare. So what's changed? In one word - me.

I didn't ask to get sick, but I'm thankful it happened. As odd as this may sound, next to Christ, lupus has been the greatest teacher I've ever had. It's taught me to never take life for granted because you never know when it will end. Lupus has taught me to cherish people and not things, because people are the ones who laugh with you when you're happy and cry with you when you're sad. Lupus has taught me to find joy in the small things: a rainbow, a flower, the sound of a child laughing. Lupus has taught me that God is in control and not me, which is why I should stop trying to be in control of every situation life throws my way. Lupus has taught me I'm beautiful just the way God made me, so there's no need to make myself into who the world tells me I ought to be. Lupus has taught me God has a plan for my life, and He'll even use the painful times in my life for good. Lupus has taught me God loves me in such an amazing, huge way that I'll never be able to fully comprehend the depth of His love. Lupus has taught me I can trust God, and He is worthy of that trust.

For as long as I can remember, I have had a problem in my relationship with God. I daresay, we all have something in our walks with God which He keeps bringing to the forefront of our lives compelling us to work on and improve. For some, it's a sin we repeatedly do, even when we don't want to. For others, it's an issue of belief about a certain characteristic of God they struggle to believe. My problem falls in the second category, although truth be told, it's a sin because I'm not fully trusting what God says in His Word. I struggle to believe God loves me with an unfailing love. "How can that be," one might wonder. It's not that I doubt God's love for others. I have doubted God's love for me.

As with all things, God has been growing me in this area for years. He started by helping me see that He didn't love me because He had to, as if I was the black sheep of the family of God and loving me was His job. He then helped me see that I am very special to Him, no less special than anyone else. From there, we moved on to trusting that His love will always be there no matter what I do. On and on, He and I have worked to remove all the lies Satan has led me to believe. Recently, I told a friend I felt as if God had placed me in a spiritual boot camp. He and I have been working hard to rid my mind once and for all of the last few lies which have held me back in truly believing and accepting God's perfect love for me, an imperfect person.