By Erin Elizabeth Austin

“I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I, wanna talk about number one. Oh my me my. What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see.” If you ever listen to country music, then you probably recognize these lyrics by Toby Keith. Although it’s an amusing song, there’s a lot of truth to it. People like to think about themselves. It’s a fact of life. We all have the tendency to be selfish.

I. Me. My. Mine. Myself. These are just a few of the words we use to talk about ourselves on a daily basis. If we were to take just one day and count the number of times we think about ourselves, we would all be shocked and most likely appalled.

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s important to have a healthy self-esteem and take care of ourselves, but there’s a fine line between doing what’s best for ourselves and being self-absorbed. It’s a line most of us unknowingly cross, and this is even truer when living with a chronic illness.

Our worlds become small and narrow when we’re diagnosed with a chronic illness. Dreams are replaced with burdens. Adventures are replaced with doctors’ appointments. Spending time with friends is replaced with time spent on the couch watching television. Even though we can’t help it, our lives can become very one dimensional.

Because of this, it’s easy to focus on ourselves. Instead of thinking about what we can do, we focus on what we can’t do. Instead of thinking about how we can bless and encourage others, we wonder if anyone will encourage us. Instead of trying to make a difference in the lives of others, we bemoan the fact that we are sick and unable to change the world. But the common denominator in this equation is us and our attitude. It’s self-focused and self-absorbed. It’s all about me.

We commit a great disservice to God when we do this. Not only are we taking our focus off Him, but we are forgetting who He is and what He can do. God isn’t limited by our limitations. Yet He can’t use someone who’s too selfish to notice those around him. 

Maybe it’s just me, but I have the tendency to greatly dislike where God has placed me. I’m thirty-one and have to live with my parents because I’m sick. Not only that, but I live in the middle of nowhere. It’s a nice place with wonderful people, but it’s one of the most rural counties in the entire state of South Carolina. So obviously since God has placed me here, than it’s not very important, right? If this were a game show this is where you’d hear the buzzer telling me I’m wrong.  The thing I tend to forget is God has placed me where I am. Because of that, it is important, and that’s true for all of us.

​Susanna Wesley learned this lesson early on in her life. Living during the 1700s, she understood hardship all too well. Although she gave birth to nineteen children, only ten made it to adulthood. Her husband abandoned her and their children on more than one occasion, and often without money to pay the bills and purchase food. Her home caught fire on two separate occasions, not to mention the fact one of her children was crippled. Despite dealing with her own illness, she was the mother, father, and teacher to her children. She had every reason to throw a pity party, yet she chose to focus on her children and teach them that even though their father struggled to show them his love, they had a Heavenly Father who loved them beyond a shadow of a doubt. Instead of focusing on herself and her problems, Susanna realized that the place she was in was important because God was there. And because of her faithfulness to God, her sons John and Charles Wesley became devout men of God, started the Methodist church, and led countless people to Christ.  

Amidst all her suffering, I doubt Susanna Wesley imagined how God would use her children. She didn’t have a map of how her life would turn out. All she had was the truth of Colossians 3:23-24. “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”

It may not always feel like it, but God has a purpose for your life. He’s chosen you to point others to Him, even if it’s simply by doing the dishes and folding laundry for your family. Everything you say and do matters! Your life and attitude is a reflection of who you believe God to be.
So what does your life say?

“And whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to the Father through Him.” ~ Colossians 3:17
​
© February 10, 2016

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

Victim. It’s a word I’ve always hated with a passion. There are many reasons, but the main one being that I have been a victim. After being subjected to sexual abuse as a young girl, my life drastically changed from a vivacious girl to one content hiding behind the pages of a book. This only became more true when I was diagnosed with lupus at the age of seventeen. Life no longer held joy for me. It had beaten me up, kicked me when I was down, and stomped all over my heart. I became a victim of my circumstances.

That’s the thing about becoming a victim. It often sneaks up on you, striking when you’re not looking. It steals your happiness and zest for life and replaces them with lies. Victimization makes you no longer look at life in a positive light. Instead of seeing the glass as half-full, you see the glass as half-empty. “Victory isn’t possible for someone like you,” it whispers. “Bad things happen in life, and they’ll always happen to you. Why even bother?”

Although it’s readily accepted that someone who has survived abuse or trauma is considered a victim, there’s another facet most fail to recognize. People who have been touched by chronic illness, whether they’re the ones sick or they are caregivers, often fall prey to becoming a victim. Merriam-Webster defines a victim as “one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent.”[1]

I think my favorite word in the definition is “usually.” People are usually affected in a negative manner when something difficult or tragic occurs, but they don’t have to be. They have a choice. A person gets to decide how he will respond to the circumstances life has thrown his way. Will he admit defeat and simply quit? Will he resign himself to the problems he faces and live each day in the monotony of his problems? Or will he choose a different path? Will he decide that no matter how bad things may get, he won’t be defeated? Will he choose to awake each day and try to live life to the fullest? Will he choose to thrive no matter what?

I know that life isn’t easy. Trust me, I understand! Raped when I was eight-years old, diagnosed with lupus when I was seventeen, fibromyalgia when I was twenty, Crohns when I was twenty-five, forced to quit my job, move in with my parents, spend all my money on medical bills, and nearly dying on four separate occasions, I get that life is hard. Some of us have it harder than others, but we all face problems. There’s nothing we can do about it. It’s simply a fact of life. But what we can do is choose to not be a victim.

Being a victim is a choice – the easy one. I’m not going to lie; choosing to rise above our problems is one of the hardest decisions a person can make. It requires faith, determination, and a lot of hard work. It means looking at what our lives have become and reminding ourselves that we serve a big God who can do great and mighty things. Sometimes, I’ve even had to speak out loud and remind myself that “God is exalted. Satan is defeated. And Jesus is Lord!”

If you have a relationship with Christ, then you are blessed. As Beth Moore says, “You are Bountifully Loved Extravagantly Saved Supplied Empowered Delivered.” As a son or daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords you’re promised every spiritual blessing, but that doesn’t happen when you become focused on all the wrong that’s occurred in your life. Being a victim steals so much from you. Don’t miss what you have because you’re focused on what you’ve lost. Don’t miss your blessing!

You are not a victim! Jesus’ death and resurrection is the guarantee. There is absolutely nothing that can defeat you, unless you let it. Your attitude determines what your life will become. No sickness, problem, or trauma can steal your victory as long as you keep your focus on Christ. You are a victor!

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ." ~ Ephesians 1:3

© September 4, 2015

[1] http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/victim

By Josie Siler

“How did it get so late so soon?” This quote by Dr. Seuss perfectly sums up my life. Time is a funny thing. Sometimes it drags on and on, and other times it skips ahead so fast you feel as if you’re the unlucky sap who stumbled through a portal to the future.

How can the days drag on while some months disappear before we get the chance to live them? I know that to some extent all people experience this feeling, yet it seems as if those of us who are chronically ill or care for someone with a chronic illness experience an amplified version of this feeling.

People living with a chronic illness tend to experience time differently than others. We view the passing of time not in days or weeks or months, but in chunks of time based on how we are feeling or when we last felt well.

It’s not just me, right? Maybe it is just me, but I have a feeling I’m not alone in this.

Every summer I hope that this is the last year I will feel so sick. Next summer, Josie, next summer you will feel great and be able to do all the things you missed this summer. Then the next summer comes and I give myself the same pep talk I gave myself the summer before.

This year however, I was sure it would be different. In May I felt great. I was able to travel, explore mountains and waterfalls and the ocean, and attend an amazing conference. I felt great, well pretty good, much better than I’d felt in a long time. I came home with high hopes for this summer.

I pictured myself riding my motorcycle to work every day, taking fun day trips, and getting some amazing new photographs. I was tentative, yet hopeful and excited!

And then I started a new medication.

Really, do I need to say anything else? You get it. You know exactly what happened. For two entire months I felt terrible. Just like that, two months of my life were gone. I felt like Westley in The Princess Bride when Count Rugen sucks a year of his life away.

“I’ve just sucked one year of your life away. … What did this do to you? Tell me. … How do you feel?”

Wimper

“Interesting.”

You can watch the full clip below.

Have you ever felt like this? The last days of summer have arrived. Some children have already gone back to school, pumpkin spice everything is filling up Facebook newsfeeds everywhere, and conversations center on chilly topics such as how much snow we might get this winter.

And I’m standing over here in the corner shouting, “Hey, wait a minute! I didn’t get to have summer yet! I want a do over! Who wants to go on a picnic?”

Nobody’s paying attention so, with a resigned sigh I begin to give myself the speech again. Next summer, Josie, next summer you will feel great and be able to do all the things you missed this summer. 

“Stop it!”

Whaaaat? What was that?

“Just knock it off. Life really isn’t so bad.”

“Just who do you think you are, Mr. Voice in My Head?”

“I’m the Holy Spirit and I’m reminding you of how far you’ve come. Remember when your friend Erin came for a visit and you got to do all those fun things?”

“Yah, but remember when we didn’t feel well and all the days we spent watching movies and having fevers? We could have done so many more things; I didn’t even get through half of my list of fun things to do when Erin comes.”

“How many of those things do you think you would have been able to do a couple of years ago?”

Silence.

“How about last year? Do you think you could have taken that physically challenging two day class last summer?”

“Okay, okay, I get it!”

And I do. I get it. Sometimes I need to be Gibbs-slapped upside the head by the Holy Spirit (that’s an NCIS reference for those who don’t know). I can be so stubborn!

When we live with chronic illness we go through some very challenging and difficult times. It’s easy to focus on all of the things that we can’t do or that we have to miss. It’s at times like these when we need to remember the good things. The things we were and are able to do.

Don’t let the frustration turn to anger or bitterness. Find hope in God’s Word, in His challenges and encouragements. In Isaiah 43:18-19 (NASB) we read:

Time marches on, with or without us. Don’t get stuck trying to live in the past, instead keep an eye out for what God is doing now, and what He has in store for your future. God is going to make a way for us. He’s doing it right now. He’s making a way for us to not just live life, but thrive. Let’s choose to focus on that, for that my friends, is very good news!  

© August 25, 2015

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

“It’s a hard-knock life for us! It’s a hard-knock life for us! ‘Steada treated, we get tricked! ‘Steada kisses, we get kicked! It’s a hard-knock life! ….Don’t it feel like the wind is always howling? Don’t it seem like there’s never any light? Once a day, don’t you want to throw the towel in? It’s easier than putting up a fight!”

In case you don’t recognize these lyrics, it’s a song from the play/movie “Annie.” I don’t know about you, but sometimes, I feel like this song was written just for me. Let’s be honest. Life is hard.  There are always problems in every area of your life – personal life, finances, family and friends, emotions. It’s a never-ending barrage of problems and sometimes, it’s exhausting emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Because of that, many times it feels like we’re waiting for the next crisis to arise.

In “Annie,” there’s a secondary character named Pepper who struggled with the same thing. She’d been dealt so many terrible blows to her young life that she lost hope things would ever improve. She was a negative, bitter little girl, and she couldn’t understand how Annie could continue to hold on to hope that tomorrow would be a better day.

I think if we’re honest, we all have times when we think like Pepper. Yes, I know Christians are always supposed to be filled with hope, but sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Life is hard. For many, it has been one problem after another. This has definitely been the case in my life. People always tell me how strong I am, but every once in a while, there are moments when all that I must face every day simply overwhelms me. But then I’m reminded of how far God has brought me and how much He’s done in my life and through my life. Life definitely isn’t easy, but my hope is in an all-powerful God who can do anything. 

What we have to remember is that life is made up of a series of moments, both good and bad. But if we’re constantly waiting for the next bad moment, we will miss the joy that comes with all the good moments. The Bible says many times that God has a plan for our lives. In the past, I’ve been guilty of thinking of this promise as future tense, meaning He has a good plan for my tomorrows. Yet that’s not how God works. He has a plan for every moment of every day. He has a plan for this very moment of your life, but if you’re focused on what will happen or the pain of what’s already happened, you will be blinded to God’s good plan for today.

Rather than keep waiting for something bad to happen, hope and wait for something wonderful. Be a noticer of the good! Ask God to open your eyes to help you see the good in your life. Today, choose to live every moment to the best of your ability, and sit back and watch God work!

“I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might.” ~ Ephesians 1:17-19

© June 17, 2015

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Well, not quite, but it’s almost the most wonderful time of the year. It’s no secret I absolutely love Christmas. Every year, I vow to be good and not celebrate Christmas until after Thanksgiving, but every year my resolve seems to go out the window. Even as I write this, Christmas piano music is playing on my Pandora radio station. This year, I’ve decided to blame Pinterest. Everyone is sharing Christmas decorating and food ideas, and naturally, it’s gotten me in the Christmas spirit. Still, we do have an important holiday coming up next week, and we shouldn’t bypass it altogether.

I have to be honest. There have been years I have wanted to forget about Thanksgiving. Everywhere you turn, people are talking about all the wonderful things they have in their lives for which they are thankful. Yet for some people, Thanksgiving is just a painful reminder of what they don’t have. I’ve found this to be especially true with people who are suffering with a chronic illness or the caregiver of someone who’s sick. It’s hard to be thankful when you’re going through a difficult time. From where you stand, all you can see are problems, heartache, pain, and loss. So why would you want to celebrate all the bad in your life?

Thoughts like these are all too familiar to me. I once actually made a list of all the reasons why I shouldn’t be thankful. I was jobless, had no money, sick with three illnesses, single, and lived with my parents. I’ll spare you the rest of the list. Needless to say, I was having a very big pity party for myself, and I could care less about a holiday in which you’re required to be thankful. If there was such a thing as a Thanksgiving Scrooge, I qualified. Bah Humbug!

I think that’s part of the reason why I love Christmas so much. It’s not about you or me, but it’s about Christ’s birth and giving to others. Thanksgiving, on the other hand, is a self-reflective holiday. Before eating the Thanksgiving meal, families even go around the table and every individual shares what he’s thankful for, something that’s incredibly stressful when you’re facing so many problems in your life.  Yet one day, I realized something. Focusing on Christ isn’t an exclusive right of Christmas. We can and should focus on Him at Thanksgiving. Every good thing we have in our lives comes from God. Without God, none of us would have anything for which to be thankful. Instead of focusing on the things we’re thankful for, we need to be focused on the One who gave us the blessings. 

Unfortunately, this won’t necessarily take away the Thanksgiving blues, but it helps. The year I made the “Not Thankful List,” God compelled me to also make a Thankful List. I’ll be honest, if anyone had seen the list, he probably would have said I wasn’t trying hard enough, but at the time, it was the best I could do. Some of the items on my list were: not being homeless, being broke but able to get my medicine, not having my car repossessed, and not being dead. As depressing as that Thankful List was, it helped me see that God really was involved in my life. Yes, I had been forced to quit my job and move back in with my parents, but God provided a place to go when I could have been homeless. I had no money to my name, but somehow, God provided the money to pay my car payments and get my medicine every month. I may have been severely ill with three different diseases, but I wasn’t dead, which meant God still had a plan for my life. Life was incredibly difficult, but I had a God in my life who deserved my gratitude.

Whatever you’re facing during this Thanksgiving season, know God is actively involved in your life. If you’re feeling a bit Scrooge-like, make a Thankful List. You might have to search to find items to put on the list, but they’re there. God hasn’t abandoned you. Focus on Him this Thanksgiving rather than the problems.

And if you’re one of those people who shares with others all the wonderful things in your life you’re thankful for, be aware of those around you. Not everyone is happy-go-lucky this time of year. I’m happy things are going well in your life and you should be thankful, but also be sensitive to the needs of those around you. Thanksgiving begins the time of year when more people struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide than any other time of the year, and it’s because people feel alone and forgotten. Allow God to use you and your season of blessing to minister to someone who’s going through a difficult time.

Whether you have many things to be thankful for or you feel you have nothing for which you can be thankful, remember that God loves you in ways you can never fully comprehend. He is with you in the good times and the bad times. He could no more forget you than you can forget to breathe. You are His precious child, and THAT is something to celebrate.

“So thank God for His marvelous love, for His miracle mercy to the children He loves; offer thanksgiving, tell the world what He’s done—sing it out!” ~ Psalm 107:22 (The Message)

© November 21, 2013

By Josie Siler

My how quickly things change! Last week I  wrote to you about the warm weather and the beautiful leaves changing colors. It  was a Fall wonderland and so lovely. Today, I saw snow. Twice. As I write this, it’s 36 degrees with a wind chill of 28. It’s too warm for the snow to stick to the ground and I have only seen a few flurries, but how different it feels from just a week ago! To say there’s a chill in the air is putting it mildly. It’s cloudy, blustery, and the kind of weather that makes you want to curl up by a fireplace with some hot cider…or take a nap.

I know I’m on a weather/seasons kick, but living in a place where the seasons change so dramatically will do that to a person. When the seasons change I can’t help but think about the different seasons I’ve gone through in life. After church on Sunday I had the opportunity to share with a team of people who are leaving on Friday for Haiti. They will teach hygiene, drill a well, and share the hope of Christ to people who know great suffering. 

Speaking to them was difficult for me. A few seasons ago, before my body was attacked by chronic illness, I was the one going. I was the one traveling to another culture and sharing the hope found in Jesus Christ. On Sunday, I had the privilege of sharing with this special team of people about suffering. I have a lot of experience in that area – we all do. As I spent time with this team of brothers and sisters in Christ I saw their excitement; an excitement that I once knew so well. 
 
Romans 12:15 tells us to "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." I've found that it's easier to weep with those who weep than it is to rejoice with those who rejoice - especially if they are rejoicing about something I would love to do but physically can't. This is such a negative attitude. Friends, don't go there! Don't hold back your rejoicing from a friend who needs you to be happy with them.

On Sunday, I was finding it difficult to rejoice with my friends. It was difficult to be happy with them. Thankfully, I recognized that Satan was trying to get to me. He does that, you know. He takes the things that cause us pain, the weaknesses in our lives, and he exploits them. He tries to blow them out of proportion. He twists and stretches the truth so that it is no longer truth. I was so close to embracing the lies of the evil one. However, with the help of Christ and the spiritual armor and weapons He has given me, I stood firm.
 
Galatians 6:9-10 says, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” Friends, we need to rejoice with those who rejoice. We need to do good for others, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can use our experiences, even the difficult ones, to encourage others. We can learn from each other. We can love each other.
 
I am thrilled with the season God has me in right now. He is giving me the opportunity to connect with each of you, to encourage you, and challenge you. Good things can come out of challenging seasons, so don’t give up! Remember how quickly the seasons change? Soon it will be our turn. In due season we will reap the fruit of lives lived for the glory of God. This week, no matter how you are feeling, rejoice with a friend who is rejoicing. Do good to others in your life. Don’t quit. Don't hold back. Let the love and the joy flow from your heart and soul!
 
“We may think God wants actions of a certain kind, but God wants people of a certain kind.” – C.S. Lewis
 
© October 22, 2013

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

I have an addiction. It's not a normal addiction to something like alcohol or drugs; it's an addiction to sweets. This wouldn't be such a bad thing, except for the fact that I have been diagnosed with gluten-sensitivity. For the non-bakers out there, almost all desserts are made using flour - aka gluten. Every cookie, cake, and pie has gluten in it. But needing to feed my addiction to desserts, my cool sense of logic prevailed and I realized that the majority of pies only have gluten in the crust. The delicious filling does not contain flour, which means I can enjoy the best part of key lime, pecan, apple, and chocolate pies. Armed with this knowledge, I have now mastered the art of eating pie. I have learned how to eat the inner goodness of a pie without letting my fork touch the crust. No knife is required. When I am finished satisfying my sweet tooth, the pie crust is left perfectly intact so someone else can enjoy it.

Now I know what you must be thinking, and yes, one can buy gluten-free food. Many of the gluten-free foods are actually quite tasty. Some brands are so good that it's hard to distinguish the difference between foods containing gluten and those which don't. Yet the dessert mixes still need some work. All cookie and cake mixes I've tried leave me with a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. The only gluten-free dessert which satisfies my sweet tooth is the brownie mix. In fact, the brownies are so good that my family prefers them to the regular brownies. The reason for this is because the gluten-free brownies contain more chocolate, which makes them taste delicious.

The other day, as I was rummaging through my pantry looking for something to satisfy my sweet tooth, I realized that people are often like gluten-free food. 

By Josie Siler

Most people are familiar with a Bucket List. It’s a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket” or, put more plainly, die. I have a different kind of list. It’s a list of things that I am going to do when I am well, when I go into remission, when I am healed – or maybe just when I’m having a good day! Most of the things on my list are things that I used to love to do but am not able to do now. Do you want a peek at my list? Here are a few things:

Climb trees
Go hiking
Go on a long motorcycle trip
Roll down a hill
Wear heals
Travel overseas
Say YES!

There are times when I think of the things on my list and I feel really sad. I feel a deep sorrow, and I grieve the life that I once had and the life that I thought I would have. I also praise the Lord because He meets me in my pain. He has blessed me and given me new dreams. I am doing things that I never thought I would be doing, and for that, I am so grateful. That being said, I do not think it is wrong to grieve. In fact, I think it is necessary. We won’t be able to move on with life unless we grieve what was lost.

By Josie Siler

During my first week of Seminary at Columbia International University in South Carolina I was out in the yard talking to one of my new neighbors. All of a sudden I felt a terrible stinging and burning sensation all over my legs. I looked down and I was standing near the largest anthill I had ever seen. My new Southern friend quickly informed the clueless Wisconsin girl that it was no normal anthill I was standing by – I was being attacked by fire ants! I ran into the house stomping my feet in an attempt to rid myself of the ants. My roommates helped me get rid of them as best as they could through their poorly suppressed laughter. After the whole ordeal was over I was brought to my knees in laughter at my foolishness and the thought of what I must have looked like to anyone passing by or looking out their window! I was careful to keep my distance from any and all anthills in the future. (Side note: my memory of this event may be slightly skewed, but how is a girl expected to remember the details of such a traumatic event?!)

Throughout the course of my life I have been brought to my knees in laughter more times that I can count. I have also been brought to my knees in pain, in deep sadness, in worship to God and because of a whole host of other emotions. I am sure the same can be said of you. We have been looking at the Apostle Paul’s life as he wrote to the people of Ephesus. He was in prison and he just got done telling the people of Ephesus that he was in chains because of them, but to not lose heart because of what he is suffering for them. He continues on…

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

Anyone who has ever spent time with me knows I can think of a song to fit whatever situation I’m in at the time. I guess this is why I’m so good at the game "Name That Tune." I've seen many variations of the game over the years, but they’re all based on the same premise. A portion of a song is played and the person must name the song. So, how about it? Do you think you can win a round of “Name that Tune?” Since you’ll only be reading a portion of the lyrics and not hearing the music, I’ll give you a hint: It’s a song associated with this time of year.  

                 “You really are a heel. You’re as cuddly as a cactus; you’re as charming as an eel. 
                 You’re a  bad banana with a greasy black peel!”

Who thinks they know the song? I know one person who will recognize this song – my dad. He and I have always enjoyed singing this song (which makes me wonder what this says about the two of us!). Now that I've piqued your curiosity and sent you to Google, the name of the song is “Mr. Grinch.”

Not only have I always loved the song, but I’ve also enjoyed the story. Yet I can’t help but wonder about the backstory of the Grinch. Surely he wasn’t always a Grinch? In the story, we see the Grinch living in the back of a cave on the top of a mountain far away from the town of Whoville. What made him isolate himself like that? Was someone cruel or uncaring to him? Did he move away from people to protect himself from getting hurt?

Although the Grinch wasn’t chronically sick, I think we can all understand the inclination to hide far away from people who can potentially hurt us. Many people don’t understand what it’s like to suffer continually with an illness, which can cause them to say hurtful, thoughtless things to us. After so many times of dealing with hurtful comments and attitudes toward us and our sickness, we sometimes isolate ourselves to keep us from further getting hurt. The problem with this is that although isolation can protect us from getting hurt, it can also separate us from people who genuinely love and care for us.

In Philippians 4:1, Paul tells the people of Philippi that he longs to see them because they are his joy and crown. In verse three, Paul says the Philippians are his true companions. As I studied this passage I discovered something about verse one. I’ve always thought this verse was peculiar. How can people be a crown? I always guessed it meant they were special to Paul, like jewels in a crown. Although I’m sure the Philippians were special to Paul, that’s not what Paul was saying. The word he uses for crown is stephanos. This word was created after Stephen, the first Christian martyr, was killed. It means “that which surrounds; to encircle.” So when Paul says the people of Philippi are his joy and crown, he’s telling them that they surround him with their love and bring him joy, even though he is in jail. Now those are friends worth having!

Notice that even though Paul was in jail (and he didn’t have the internet or a cell phone) he still managed to have true friends. It wasn’t his location that determined whether or not he had friends. It was his attitude and his willingness to be vulnerable with others. Paul was transparent. He allowed others to see his happiness, as well as his sorrow. It was because of his willingness to be hurt by others that he was blessed with such remarkable friends.

Christmas can be one of the loneliest times of year. As you prepare for Christmas, ask yourself if you’re as cuddly as a cactus or if you’re blessed with a circle of friends. If you’re as cuddly as a cactus, remember that not all people will misunderstand your illness and what your life is like. And if you’re blessed with a circle of friends who surround you with their love and joy, keep your eyes open for someone who’s as charming as an eel. Chances are they need a friend.

“And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:3

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