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Confessions of the Unworthy

4/21/2016

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

I was raped when I was eight-years-old. I know when we talk about young children being hurt we prefer to use the word “molested.” It sounds nicer – less painful – but truthfully, molestation can simply be inappropriate touching. I wasn’t molested; I was raped, and it nearly destroyed me.

I’ve never admitted this before, but being raped is what led me to asking Jesus to save me from my sins at the young age of eight. I knew I was broken, wrecked, dirty. Although I couldn’t explain it, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life was completely shattered and I needed a Savior. I needed someone bigger than me to pick up the broken pieces and make me whole.

It’s been a difficult journey. I wish I could say becoming a child of God instantly restored what one senseless act of violence destroyed, but it didn’t. There have been times it’s felt like I was crawling through broken glass just to move forward. It’s been hard, always thinking I’m unworthy of God’s loving patience. Yet He’s never given up on me, even though He has had to restore me piece by piece.

But that’s what God does. When He looks at us He sees us, not for what we are, but who we can be. He doesn’t just see the failed marriages, broken families, the lost and damaged soul. He sees beauty in the broken, life in the death. Even at our very worst, He wants to restore and make us whole.

Yet we forget that. We become so focused on all that we aren’t – the depravity of our lives – we forget what Jesus did for us on the cross. For so long, I believed I was the black sheep of God’s family, that He loved me because He had to, not because He wanted to. But in doing so I forgot something vital – God is Lord of all and nothing can make Him do what He doesn’t want to do. God doesn’t love us out of obligation. At any time, Jesus could have removed Himself from the cross. He had the power, but He chose to stay for you and for me.

We are all broken, wrecked, dirty. We are all unworthy to stand in the presence of a holy God. Ephesians 2:1,3 says, “You were once dead because of your failures and sins. We did what our corrupt desires and thoughts wanted us to do. So, because of our nature, we deserved God’s anger just like everyone else.” Yet despite this, God loves us anyway. That’s why Jesus willingly died on the cross. He wants a relationship with each of us. He wants to make us worthy.

Ephesians 2 goes on to say in verses 4-7: “But God is rich in mercy because of His great love for us. We were dead because of our failures, but He made us alive together with Christ. It is God’s kindness that saved you. God has brought us back to life together with Christ Jesus and has given us a position in heaven with Him. He did this through Christ Jesus out of His generosity to us in order to show His extremely rich kindness in the world to come.”

God knows us. He sees the truth of who we are – the flaws, failures, imperfections – and He loves us anyway. His love for each of us is greater than we can ever begin to fathom. He wants to take the time to put us back together piece by piece. He wants us to be whole.

I’ve lost count of the number of times someone has told me God can’t love them. Their sins are too great and their lives too broken. Every person’s story is different. Some are similar to mine and they’re trying to recover from a rape or a brutal crime. Some have committed adultery and destroyed their families. Some were alcoholics or drug addicts. I’ve even met a few people who were victims in sex trafficking. What I’ve discovered is no matter what our story, we all struggle to a varying degree with the fact that we’re unworthy of God’s love, and Satan likes that! He wants us to focus on our brokenness, rather on who God says we are despite our failings.

Instead of being so focused on how unworthy we are, we need to remember that Jesus makes us worthy. He is greater than our past mistakes. There is never a person too flawed for God’s redemption. Even the greatest villain is redeemable because of what Jesus accomplished on the cross.

If you have a personal relationship with God, you’re no longer unworthy. You’re a child of the Most High King. You have been redeemed, restored, and renewed. You belong to God. Don’t let Satan tell you that you’ll never be enough. Life may have broken you, but God will make you whole.

“Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean. Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.” ~ Psalm 51:7

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Confessions of a Broken Vessel

2/18/2016

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

I’m broken. There’s no doubt about it. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been told by a medical professional that I’m a walking miracle and should donate by body to science after I die because I shouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning. It would be easier to list the things in my body that work properly rather than the things that don’t. For years, I’ve focused on all that is run-down, worn out, and broken in my life rather than on the positive, and it’s time for it to stop!

To be fair, when living with a chronic illness, we’re asked on a regular basis to do just that. Doctors want to know what’s wrong in our bodies and all the ways we’re struggling. Friends want to know if we’re feeling sick this week. Churches want to know if they should put us on their prayer list so they can pray over what ails us. By themselves, these things aren’t bad, but as time passes and years spent living with an illness fly by, it becomes easier to start the day by thinking about what’s wrong than it is to think about what is right.

You’re sick. You owe us money. I need you to do something. Over and over we are assaulted with problems and things people expect from us on days we feel so bad we simply want to go back to bed and hide. The world places its demands at our feet and we are left feeling overwhelmed, seeing the negative, dealing with fears and doubts, and asking the never-ending question…What can I do?

I think if we’re honest, we’ve all had this thought at some point or another. We’re taught that our lives have a purpose, that we wouldn’t be here if God didn’t want to use us. But we’re broken. Our bodies are messed up and our lives are filled with challenges. Some of us are sick. Some of us have been beaten up by the numerous problems life has thrown our way. Some of us are just down-right tired. We’re tired of fighting to survive. So how could God possibly want to use people like us when all we are is a broken vessel?

It’s taken me awhile, but I’ve finally learned something God has been trying to teach me for a long time. All of these years I’ve been asking the wrong question. The question isn’t “What can I do,” but “What can God do?”

We become so enamored with our problems and how difficult something is that we forget how great God is. If you study the Bible, you’ll see that the people God used the most were often the most broken. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own family and then wrongly thrown in jail after being accused of a crime he didn’t commit. Joshua was a nomad for forty years, forced to wander the desert and watch as his family and friends died one by one, including his mentor. David was devalued by his own family and then forced to go into hiding to save his life from an insane king. And these are just a few. All of these men were broken by circumstances beyond their control, and yet God used them!

Instead of starting the day by questioning what we can do, we need to ask God what He wants to do. It sounds so simple, but every time I ask God how He wants to use me today, He always surprises me with something new. Just this morning I got a phone call asking me to take a pack of ginger ale and crackers to friends whose entire family had been taken out by a stomach bug. To them, it didn’t matter that I didn’t feel like wearing my contacts instead of my glasses, or that I showed up wearing yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Instead of being a plain-old, broken Erin, I was an answer to a prayer.

That’s what God does! He can and wants to use each of us. To Him, you’re not a pathetic, worthless piece of junk. You have value to God and His kingdom. So your life has challenges? Whose doesn’t? If you obsess on how long it takes you to complete a task, you’ll never accomplish anything.

You’re ALIVE!!! It’s time to act like it! There will come a day when you’re not, but until it happens, you need to live. Don’t spend your life waiting to die. Choose to live!

“This day is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous to see! This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. O Lord, please help us. Save us. Give us success.” ~ Psalm 118:23-25 (TLB)

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Secrets of a Dreamer

9/15/2015

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By Josie Siler

“Shut up!” I silently yelled, trying to silence the voice in my head. Why wouldn’t it just leave me alone and let me do what I came here to do?

I was at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writer’s Conference and I had a plan. I had a finished first draft of a novel safely tucked away in my computer at home. I had multiple copies of the first three chapters printed off and attached to something called a One Sheet that told agents and editors about me and the book I had written. I had read about how to pitch a book and even though I was nervous, I was prepared.

As the week passed I pitched agents and editors the novel, all while thinking about another book I wanted to write. I sat in class after class scribbling notes as fast as my sore hand would write. I was supposed to be learning how to make my book better and get it published. But that voice in my head just wouldn’t shut up!

Everything I learned made me think of this idea I had. By the end of the week it was clear what God wanted me to do. I was headed in a new direction. I visualized what my website would look like, and how I would promote the book I haven’t even begun to write. I went home with a new plan and fresh excitement.

That was in May. Month after month passed and the voice in my head kept bugging me. When are you going to start building your website? When are you going to make your Facebook Page? Remember what they said at the conference about people coming back next year and being in the same place they were in this year? Do you want to be one of those people?!

“NO! I don’t! Stop yelling at me!”

I had all kinds of excuses, good excuses. I’ve had a pretty terrible summer health-wise. I didn’t have the brain power or the energy to figure out how to do what needed to be done. I didn’t know how to build a website from scratch. I couldn’t afford to pay anyone or make anything fancy. But there was something else too.

I was afraid.

The new website I was going to build was me. It’s who I am, what I love, my very essence. What if people didn’t like it? Would that mean they don’t like me?

I got a lot of advice from a lot of people, people who know much more than I do. I listened; I really did. Their advice was good. Pick one audience, do one thing and do it well. It made sense – but I didn’t take their advice.

You see, I just can’t segment these different aspects of my life. God made me this way and I think He did so for a reason. I’m a chronically ill, Harley riding, shooting sport enthusiast, adventure seeking, writer and photographer who loves leather and lace and longs to do nothing more than point people toward Jesus. I love to tell stories through words and photos.

It may not be the conventional thing to do or the wisest thing to do, but for me it’s the right thing to do because it’s who I am. I have to be true to the unique person God made me to be. I’m different, and it’s my prayer that I’m just different enough that people will take notice. Not of me, but of the God who made me.

So I did it, and it’s really hard work. There’s a steep learning curve and it’s twice as much writing and using social media than I’ve been doing. I don’t know if I’m up to it, but I’m trying. I’m pushing back the fear and doubt and embracing the voice in my head that’s pushing me toward greater things, things I didn’t think I could do.

You may know that voice; it’s the voice of the Holy Spirit. He convicts and prompts and pushes us toward Jesus. He helps us become the person God wants us to be. I’m sorry I told him to “shut up” – that was the fear talking, and my own sinfulness.

I left the Writer’s Conference with a dream and today I’m closer to fulfilling it. I’m taking risks and putting myself out there, for better or for worse.

The important thing is I’m walking in obedience. I’m embracing the promise found in Isaiah 48:17 (NLT), “This is what the Lord says-- your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow.’”

Where is God leading you? Are there things God is asking you to do but you’re resisting because of fear or uncertainty? I want to encourage you to go for it. Take that leap, dive in, and don’t hold back! Sure, you may fail. I may fail. But even in failure there is success because we tried. We obeyed.

Let’s tell our fear to “Shut up!” and embrace the challenge God has put before us. I have a feeling it’s going to be worth it.

*If you would like to see my new creation, visit www.josiesiler.com and join the fun!

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” ~ Isaiah 43:19

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To Be Free and To Thrive

7/8/2014

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By Josie Siler

Have you ever listened to a song that your soul connected with but your mind didn’t like very much? It was that way for me when I first heard Casting Crowns song “Thrive.” The song is catchy. The words are biblically solid. It’s a great song, except my mind took issue with it. Not the whole song, just the heart of it.

Imagine yourself curled up on the couch listening to the radio. A song comes on that catches your ear, so you start paying attention. By the time the chorus hits, you’re into it. Your heart is singing along to the words … Just to know You and to make You known / We lift Your name on high / Shine like the sun, make darkness run and hide … Oh yah, this is good. …We know we were made for so much more than ordinary lives / It's time for us to more than just survive / We were made to thrive … Wait. What?

That’s when the pain hits. Yes, you were made for so much more than an ordinary life. You were made to thrive. But you’re not thriving. Heck, you’re not even doing a very good job surviving. Stupid song!

But it isn’t a stupid song. It’s a song full of God’s truth. Friends, you were made for so much more. You were made to thrive. It’s time for you, for me, for all of us, to more than just survive. Now is our time to thrive!

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. How does one thrive while living with a chronic illness or caring for someone who is chronically ill?

It all comes down to freedom – freedom from fears and freedom from expectations.

Part of what keeps us in our prison is fear of man. What will others think about my illness? What will people think when I say I’m sick, but I look fine? What will my family think if I can’t keep up with the housework or prepare meals? What if my boss fires me because of my illness? What will the other parents think if I don’t attend all of my child’s activities? What if no one will want to marry me because I am sick? What if my spouse leaves me for someone who is healthy?

Then there’s the fear of the unknown. We don’t know how our illness will progress. We don’t know if it will kill us, or just torment us for the rest of our lives. We don’t know what horrible tests and procedures we’ll have to go through…and once we find out, we live in fear of having to go through them again.

As caretakers, there’s the fear of what may happen. There’s the helpless feeling of watching someone you love suffer and not being able to fix it.

There are so many questions, fears, and what-ifs. When we’re just trying to survive we need to stop, take a step back, and intentionally look to God. It is in Christ where we find freedom – freedom from fear, freedom from the world’s expectations, freedom from the lies the evil one whispers in our ears day after day. It is so important to remember the truth that we find in the Bible.

God’s Word is truth. It’s His love letter to us. In it we find encouragement for today and hope for tomorrow. It is living and active. It does not return void. It is where you will find freedom.

“Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” –Psalm 118:5-6, ESV

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed Him, ‘If you abide in My word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” –John 8:31-32, ESV

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” –Romans 8:1-2, ESV

Even if your body is in a prison, your spirit and your mind can be free. You can live in the hope found in Christ Jesus. You can live with joy and peace that come from the Lord. You can know God and you can make Him known to others. You, my friend, can thrive!

Take a few minutes and watch the Thrive lyric video below. Sing your heart out and know that anything is possible. You were made to thrive. It’s your time. Let’s do this!

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind He will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship Him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. –Romans 12:1-2, NLT

© July 8, 2014

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Our Part to Play

6/19/2014

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By Josie Siler

I was recently reminded of a role I played in sixth grade. I had the distinct honor of playing Candy in Pop, Candy, and The Christmas Time Travelers. Back when I went to school, sixth grade was still considered part of elementary school, not middle school. I was on top of the world when I was chosen for the part. You see, all through school, I had never been chosen for the lead role. I’m pretty sure it’s because I can’t sing… but finally a role came along with no solos and I was the gal for the job! It was a blast, though maybe not as much fun as playing a goat that had to cough up a red handkerchief!

In my time with the Lord yesterday, I read about the first battle the Israelites encountered after God brought them out of Egypt. The army of Amalek came out to attack the people of Israel. The Amalekites were known as great warriors who enjoyed fighting and killing others. It was a sport to them. This time, they messed with the wrong people! We find the short account in Exodus 17:10-13 (NLT). It reads:

While the people of Israel were still at Rephidim, the warriors of Amalek attacked them. Moses commanded Joshua, “Choose some men to go out and fight the army of Amalek for us. Tomorrow, I will stand at the top of the hill, holding the staff of God in my hand.” So Joshua did what Moses had commanded and fought the army of Amalek. Meanwhile, Moses, Aaron, and Hur climbed to the top of a nearby hill. As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle.

Something in my head connected my role as Candy and the battle against the Amalekites. Whether it’s a children’s play or an epic battle, we all have a role to play. We all need each other. If not for Pop and the Christmas Time Travelers, Candy would be nothing. If not for Aaron and Hur, the battle would be lost.

God has given each of us a specific role to play in life, only we’re not acting. This is real life and we each have a task to do, several over the course of our lives. Let’s look at the story of the Israelites first battle a little closer. Here, we meet Joshua for the first time. Many years later, God chooses him to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. In this battle, he is taking his orders from Moses. He chooses other men who are able to fight, and off to battle they go. Without Joshua’s obedience, the battle would be lost. Without the men he chose to fight with him, the battle would be lost.

Moses, Aaron, and Hur climb to the top of a hill to watch the battle. We can only assume God told Moses to bring his staff and raise it during battle. As long as he did this, the Israelites were winning. Without Moses, the battle would be lost.

Naturally, Moses’ arms got tired and he couldn’t hold them up any more. Aaron and Hur come alongside him and hold his arms up until the battle is won. Without Aaron and Hur, the battle would be lost.

Whatever battle you are in right now, know that God is on your side. He will help you fight. He will bring others into your life at just the right time to help you win the battle. He will send you to others to help them win their battles.

Whatever task God has given you, know that it is important. You are needed. Without you doing what God has asked you to do, a battle could be lost. Maybe God has asked you to play the leading part. Maybe He has asked you to be a lowly goat. Maybe He has asked you to be still and know that He is God.

We can find freedom in God’s will for us. We don’t have to do everything, just the things God is asking us to do. We don’t have to be someone else; we just have to be the person God has made us to be. What God has asked you to do is important. You are needed!

What task has God given you? Are you doing it? What victories have been won in the past because of your obedience?

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you. Let Me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” –Matthew 11:28-29

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Good Enough

6/5/2014

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

Can you keep a secret? I, Erin Elizabeth Austin, am broken. I’m messed up, rundown, worn-out, and have failed more times than I can count. My body is sick with multiple diseases, and it often keeps me from doing the things a healthy adult can do. My church attendance is hit-and-miss because my body struggles to move in the morning. I often have to stay home rather than go out with family and friends because I don’t have the energy. Because of medical bills, I have no money. And I often let the laundry pile up because it requires energy and strength I don’t have to spare. In a nutshell, I’m not good enough.

But I’ll tell you something I've learned over the years – none of these things matter! God doesn’t care about any of those things. He doesn’t judge us according to the world’s standards. He doesn’t look down from Heaven and view us with disappointment and frustration. He loves us more than we can ever comprehend. Why? It’s because of what Jesus did on the cross. His death defeated more than just sin; it covers our failures, our brokenness, our sickness, and even our inability to do all the requirements we feel we should do as a Christian, such as attending church regularly and going on mission trips. We are good enough because Christ is good enough.

Yet that’s a hard truth to understand, and it’s even harder to accept. It’s easy to focus on what is wrong with us – to see what we can’t do. But that’s not how we should think. We need to think about all that’s right with us. God created you and loves you exactly as you are. Just as you wouldn't want your child to focus on his faults and weaknesses, the same is true with God and us. Don’t insult His creation (yourself) by talking bad about it. Walk confidently in who you are and be thankful for who He created you to be.

Ephesians 2:10 is a verse God often brings to mind when I find myself struggling with my self-worth. It says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” The original word for workmanship is more accurately translated as “a work of art; a masterpiece.” Stop and think about that a moment. God says you are His masterpiece. The God who sees and knows everything, including your many flaws and failures, looks at you and says, “That’s MY child! He/she is beautiful. I love her so much and I’m so proud of who she is! She’s a masterpiece and I wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world.”

That puts a different spin on things, doesn’t it? In a world with impossible standards in which we can never measure up, God sees us for who we really are, and He says we’re more than good enough. He knows we’re broken, wrecked, messed-up, and still He says we’re good enough because of Christ’s work on the cross. We are a constant recipient of His grace, love, mercy, and favor. We belong to God!

So rather than judge ourselves according to the world’s standards, don’t you think it’s time for us to view ourselves the way God does?

“Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank You, High God—You’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out; You know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” ~ Psalm 139:13-16 (The Message)

© June 5, 2014

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Lord, Have Mercy On Us!

11/27/2013

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By Josie Siler

Here in the United States, everybody’s getting ready for Thanksgiving. People are starting to bake and cook, and a month of daily thankfulness has been spreading all over Facebook. If you’re not celebrating Thanksgiving this year, there’s a good chance you’re preparing to celebrate something. It seems like all over the world this time of year is a time for celebrations!

There are a lot of emotions involved with special holidays and celebrations. There’s the anticipation and excitement for what’s to come; there’s business and preparations and lists to be checked off; there’s dread of what we may not be able to do; there’s worry that we will miss out on something, and ultimately, there’s the fear that we will be forgotten…that festivities will happen without us and no one will miss us or notice we aren’t there.

Have you ever felt like that? If you have, keep reading because I have great news! In Matthew 20:29-34 (ESV) we read the account of Jesus working His way to Jerusalem.

And as they went out of Jericho, a great crowd followed Him. And behold, there were two blind men sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was passing by, they cried out, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” The crowd rebuked them, telling them to be silent, but they cried out all the more, “Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!” And stopping, Jesus called them and said, “What do you want Me to do for you?” They said to Him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” And Jesus in pity touched their eyes, and immediately they recovered their sight and followed Him.

While walking to Jerusalem, Jesus must have had a lot on His mind. The big Passover Feast was coming and He knew that His death was rapidly approaching. As He walked, He was surrounded not only by His friends and followers, but by a great crowd of people. The mother of the sons of Zebedee had just asked Him if her sons could sit at His right and left in the Kingdom. Jesus had to, yet again, explain that in order to be great we must serve each other.

As Jesus walked, everyone would have wanted His attention. People would have been pushing to get close to Him and shouting for Him to hear them. I get sensory overload just thinking about it! Then, out of the crowd He hears it, those two voices.

“Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!”

The crowd tries to shush them but they scream louder.

“Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!”

Jesus stops. He calls to them. “What do you want me to do for you?”

The crowd begins to quiet as they watch Jesus. He has taken interest in the two blind men.

In softer voices the men plead, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.”

Jesus takes pity on them and immediately they are well. They can see, and they begin to follow Jesus.

Did you recoil at the word “pity?” You don’t have to; the word is defined as “a feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the sufferings of others.[1] When Jesus saw those two men and heard their cries for help, He felt sorrow and compassion on them because of what they were suffering. Even with all the other things going on around Him, even knowing what awaited Him in Jerusalem, He took time to stop and bring healing.

Jesus is NEVER too busy for us. Jesus will NEVER forget us. Jesus will ALWAYS have compassion on us and feel sorrow over the things we suffer. He loves you more than you can ever comprehend. This holiday season, no matter what else is going on around you, no matter who does or says hurtful things, no matter who doesn’t understand – Jesus loves you and He understands. Cry out to Him and allow Him to bring healing into your situation.

© November 27, 2013

[1] Soanes, C., & Stevenson, A. (2004). Concise Oxford English dictionary. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

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The Island of Misfit Toys

5/24/2013

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The Island of Misfit Toys

By Erin Elizabeth Austin

“Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nit wit! I'm an adorable reindeer. Why don't I fit in?” I’ve had this song going through my mind for the past couple of weeks. Do you recognize it? It’s a Burl Ives song called “Misfits.” Most people know the song because of the old Christmas movie, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Yes, I know it’s almost June and nowhere near time for Christmas, but I do have a good reason for singing this song, even though it’s almost summer. Over the past month, I’ve gotten more emails from people who are experiencing a problem they never expected to happen. Literally, every day I hear from another person who’s run into this problem, and everyone is flabbergasted by what’s happening and what to do about it. The problem? The health care reform bill that was passed last year is now targeting people living with a chronic illness. Suddenly, insurance is no longer paying for medicine for which it once paid. In some cases, pharmacies aren’t even allowed to give out the medicine, even if the patient is willing to pay full cost. Some people are suddenly being turned away by physicians, and they are having to see alternative health doctors. I even know of some people who are having to find doctors in different states from their own who are willing to help them. In essence, everyone living with a chronic illness has hit the proverbial brick wall. And the one comment I hear over and over again is this: “I feel like I’m being told that I don’t matter, like I have no value because I’m sick. Just because I'm different - a misfit - shouldn't mean my life doesn't count.”

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Confessions of a Nobody

5/17/2013

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By Erin Elizabeth Austin

I sat down for my interview, nervous but excited. God had provided the money to attend this writers' conference, and I knew in my heart God was going to do something amazing. Why else would He go to so much trouble to get me here?

As I went to the first of what would be many interviews, I couldn't help but hope my dream of becoming a published writer would begin with this meeting. Maybe it sounds silly, but I hoped and prayed others would catch the vision of what I felt God calling me to write. So I waited with bated breath as the interview began, and what I heard broke my heart. Not only did the person interviewing me not catch my vision, but he thought I was wasting my time. I was told I was a good writer, but I was a nobody and who would care to read anything I've written?

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Good Enough

3/8/2013

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By Sharyn Kopf

“Am I good enough?” How often do you ask yourself that question? We wonder if our husbands are happy, if our children are satisfied, if our employer will hang onto us through yet another round of budget cuts.

Over the last few years, I’ve been feeling oh so inadequate. For the second time in my life, I was let go by a company that saw the creative writer as a good place to start dissecting costs, leaving me unemployed once again. And, after weeks of encouraging consideration, an editor decided to pass on my nonfiction manuscript. Last, but certainly not least, as a still-single woman in her upper-forties, how could I not feel rejected by men? One guy actually seemed to be pursuing me quite enthusiastically for about a week recently, then . . . nothing.

And every time I’m hit by another failure, I hear the voices. No one wants you. You can’t do it. You’re not good enough. I know these words are from the Enemy, yet they ring so true and hurt so much. As Vivian said in Pretty Woman, “The bad stuff is easier to believe.”

So, for our peace of mind—and sheer sanity, for heaven’s sake—we need to reject the negative and not only find our way back to good enough, but to who we truly are in Christ.

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Confessions of the Unworthy

Confessions of a Broken Vessel

Secrets of a Dreamer

To Be Free and To Thrive

Our Part to Play

Good Enough

Lord, Have Mercy On Us!

The Island of Misfit Toys

Confessions of a Nobody

Good Enough

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