I wish I could say I've mastered the art of being content, but I can't. I work very hard to be content, and will probably work every bit as hard thirty years from now as I do today. Being sick isn't something I chose. When I look back over my life and see all the mistakes I have made, even though I wish I could take those mistakes back, at least they were mistakes I chose to make. I didn't choose to be sick, and I certainly didn't choose to be in medical debt.
It's hard being content with who you are, especially when who you are is a person who struggles with a disease you wished you didn't have. Yet this is exactly what Christ said in the Beatitudes. Verse five of Matthew 5 says, "You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."
I wish I could say I've mastered the art of being content, but I can't. I work very hard to be content, and will probably work every bit as hard thirty years from now as I do today. Being sick isn't something I chose. When I look back over my life and see all the mistakes I have made, even though I wish I could take those mistakes back, at least they were mistakes I chose to make. I didn't choose to be sick, and I certainly didn't choose to be in medical debt. I have a confession to make. I am a perfectionist. That's right. I was the kid in school who got upset if she got a B on her report card. But it's hard to be a perfectionist when you're sick. This is probably why it took me six years to finish college. Between working my way through school and trying to have the highest grade possible, I worked myself into the ground and had to keep taking semesters off to recuperate.
One would think I'd have learned my lesson by now. To be honest, I thought I had. My perfectionist tendencies had to leave when I became deathly sick three years ago. Because of this, I thought they had gone for good, but as it turns out, they only went into hiding. They never really left. They stayed in the shadows until I began to heal. It was last week I realized they had just been biding their time, waiting for me to recover. A little known fact about me is that for a short while I seriously considered becoming a crime scene investigator. I took a forensic science class in school and was at the top of the class. I loved everything about it. Because of that, I took several criminal justice classes before I decided God hadn't called me into that line of work. Even now, I still am intrigued by the idea of forensic science. I suppose this is why I love to watch so many cop shows on television. I love to watch the forensic television shows and know how to do some of what they do, particularly when they dust for fingerprints and analyze them.
A fingerprint is an amazing thing. Webster's Dictionary defines a fingerprint as "an impression made for purposes of identification." Every person has a unique fingerprint. No two people in the world have the exact same fingerprint. God created each of us special, down to our very fingerprints. As I thought about this the other day, I got to thinking about how God also created us with spiritual fingerprints. Most people who read this know I like to read different translations of the Bible. Often, there are times I don't understand what I've read in the Bible. Going to different translations of Scripture gives me understanding to a particular passage that I didn't understand earlier. This happened to me this weekend in Matthew 5. Most people refer to this passage of Scripture as The Beatitudes.
As I read The Beatitudes out of The Message, the truth of what Christ said that day struck me. Never before had this passage spoken to me in such a powerful way. For the first time, I felt like Matthew 5 was written just for me. So for the next several weeks, I would like to share with you what God spoke to me through His Word. |
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Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. AuthorErin Elizabeth Austin is a writer and speaker with a passion to help people find healing in the midst of their brokenness. ContributorJosie Siler, like millions of others, is living with chronic illness. She is eager to share the hope and joy that she has found in Christ, whether that is in a church, at a women’s retreat, over a cup of hot cocoa, or through a blog post. Archives
November 2018
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